


I Wish To Be Yours

by Sonnentanz



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-15
Updated: 2015-03-02
Packaged: 2018-03-13 04:12:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 31,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3367361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sonnentanz/pseuds/Sonnentanz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Sky People and the Tree Clan have plenty to learn from each other. This doesn't exclude their two leaders, Clarke and Lexa. In fact, they have the most to learn, not just about each other's lifestyles, but also about each other's wishes. </p><p>(I'll be adding the characters that show up as they show up sorry!! I didn't want to disappoint anybody if I tag a character that isn't introduced yet)</p><p>NOTE: I am extremely sorry for not having updated in over a year! I will be updating this during my spring break so hopefully the 28th of March :) Thank you for being patient and for all the positive feedback! I seriously owe you guys! You can yell at me at zor-elkara on tumblr for having the most hectic year and not updating :(</p><p>NOTE #2: I was at WonderCon yesterday and I didn't get a chance to write yet T_T</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Clarke of the Sky People wishes to be mine?

“Where is Clarke?” The Commander demanded in her usual stern voice. Octavia and Indra quickly stood up along with two other grounders.

“Clarke is in her chambers Heda,” Octavia answered, “If you want I can fetch her for you.”

Lexa raised her hand and signaled Octavia that it would not be necessary.

“That is alright. I shall go in and get her myself.”

Octavia offered a small nod and followed Indra who trailed behind The Commander. 

__

It had been a while since Finn’s death, and although Clarke knows she’s not ready to move on romantically, a hormonal teenage girl still has needs. She finished her chores as both the leader of the Sky Crew and a member of Camp Jaha early, so she figured she had some time to kill before dinner.

She thought about the pictures that she once saw in a magazine when a guard accidentally dropped it after his shift ended on the Ark. There were a lot of naked women in provocative positions. Clarke shut her eyes tightly, as her hand gently slid down her abdomen and in between her legs. As the memories of the pictures flooded her mind, she gradually became wetter. 

The tips of Clarke’s fingers traced her clitoris with skill and gentle circles, which allowed her to relax deeper onto her bed. Once she was wet enough, Clarke slipped two fingers inside and quickly thrusted. Thoughts and images of anonymous women disappeared and were replaced with the sound of Lexa’s voice. Clarke furrowed her eyebrows, unsure of why she was having those kinds of thoughts about the young Commander, but she was too far into her budding orgasm to really care. Besides, Lexa was undeniably beautiful. 

Memories of the time Clarke saw Lexa swim with both grounders and sky people floated through her mind; Lexa’s olive skin glowed brightly in comparison to Clarke’s. Her eyes a beautifully clear emerald green, and her lips looked soft and a perfect shade of pink. Lexa was beautiful and all of a sudden Clarke didn’t care about the thoughts she was having about The Commander. Once again Lexa’s voice infiltrated her thoughts. Maybe Clarke had feelings for the grounder’s Heda, or maybe she was merely filler for Clarke’s needs.

_

“Clarke!” Lexa shouted as she entered what was left of the Alpha Station.

No answer.

“Clarke! I demand your counsel.”

Octavia’s gaze alternated from The Commander to Indra. Neither spoke but Octavia could sense the growing tension in the air. Was this what it was like to see The Commander angry?

“I expect the leader of your people to be awake once I arrive at her chambers. As a leader she should not have retreated to her chambers at such an early hour. The sun is still up!”

Octavia said nothing; instead she occasionally nodded in agreement with The Commander.

The five of them approached Clarke’s room in record time. Lexa turned to the two grounder guards and signaled for them to return to the entrance of Alpha Station. They nodded, turned around and walked back to where they came from.

Lexa gazed down at Octavia and tilted her head slightly towards the door.

Octavia must have looked confused because Indra immediately spoke up. “The Commander wishes for you to open the entrance way for her.”

“Oh! Right!” Octavia walked forward and gripped her hand around a lever.

__

Clarke felt her orgasm intensify. She tried but failed to shake the thoughts of Lexa from her mind. She would release at any given moment, her moans soft and low, and Lexa’s name still escaped her lips.  
__

Octavia pulled the lever and the pod opened in front of the three of them. Her and Indra’s eyes widened at the sight of Clarke.

“L-L-Lexa!!!” 

Clarke’s back arched and stayed in that position for a few seconds before softly falling back onto the covers. She opened her eyes and noticed that Lexa, Octavia, and Indra stood a few feet from her bed.

“Oh. My. God!” Octavia and Clarke exclaimed in unison.

Clarke tried to get up but slipped and fell behind her bed.

Lexa quickly rushed over to try to help.

The shocked but yet amused expression never left Octavia’s face, even after she heard Indra mutter something in Trigedasleng.

“Are you hurt?” Clarke sensed the panic in Lexa’s voice, something she’s never heard before.

“No. I’m- I’m fine.” She got up and covered herself with a few blankets. Lexa nodded and returned to her post in front of Octavia and Indra. She noticed Octavia’s facial expression and furrowed her brows.

“Octavia!”

“Yes Heda?”

“What is amusing you? I wish to know.”

Octavia looked at Clarke who begged with her eyes for Octavia to keep her mouth shut.

“Well. What is it?”

“Octavia don’t tell her!”

Lexa turned and faced Clarke. “Why is Octavia not allowed? I wish to know what is amusing about you falling.”

“Heda … Clarke falling isn’t why I’m amused.”

“Octavia don’t do it I swear to God.”

“Heda … Clarke was—”

“Octavia please!”

“Clarke, please. I wish to know. Octavia enough of this, tell me or I will have Indra punish you for disobeying me.”

“I apologize Heda. Well you see, Clarke was uhm, Clarke was getting off.”

“Damn it Octavia.” Clarke covered her face with her free hand, making sure the other was clasped tightly around the blankets covering her body.

“Getting off?” Lexa was confused and the terminology of the Sky People.

“Heda, getting off is … it’s like … okay. Getting off is when the passionate fire in a woman’s flower is much too dangerous and untamed that one must …. relieve herself. It is when a woman’s flower is a rushing river.”

Lexa immediately blushed and became flustered once she understood the terminology.

“Oh.” Her voice cracked, “Thank you. Octavia. For the new knowledge.”

Indra groaned and looked like she would have rather died a thousand times than to have witnessed what happened within the past two minutes.

Lexa turned her attention back to Clarke. 

“I apologize, Clarke of the Sky People. Had I known I would have been sure to give you … privacy? Perhaps next time, a charcoal sign posted before your chamber would ensure that this does not happen once more.”

Octavia tried to compose herself but couldn’t. Indra jabbed her second’s side with her elbow to quiet herself.

“When you … when you have finished. I wish your counsel with a new plant plot.”

“Garden, Heda. It is called a garden.” Indra added.

“I wish your counsel for a new garden.”

Clarke didn’t reply, instead she just nodded and waited for the three to exit her room. Octavia was the last to leave, but before she did, she mocked Clarke and pretended to orgasm while mouthing a silent “Lexa!”

Clarke took one of her boots and chucked it at Octavia - she aimed for her head. Despite her eyes being closed during her mock performance, Octavia still caught the boot.

“I’m Indra’s second, you’re gonna have to do better than that.” She raised her eyebrow before smirking at her friend. 

“Okteivia kom Skai Kru!”

Octavia ran up to Indra and apologized for making her wait.

“Octavia?”

“Yes Heda.”

“When Clarke of the Sky People was … getting off … why is it that she yelled my name as if she were a warrior who had defeated the biggest wild boar in all of the land?”

Octavia shrugged. She wasn’t sure why Clarke did what she did but she still tried to give The Commander an honest answer.

“Honestly Heda, I don’t know. Us Sky People say the names of our lovers when we perform the act of love making, or in Clarke’s case, taming the passionate fire. Maybe she might have feelings for you?”

“Clarke of the Sky People wishes to be mine?”

Octavia noticed the slight hint of amusement and excitement in her Heda’s voice, so she simply agreed. “Possibly.”

Indra rolled her eyes and groaned.

“Oh Indra, let me enjoy my youth. I find this new information to be wonderful. Perhaps we shall inform our people about … getting off?”

Octavia smiled and Indra simply nodded. There was no use falling into disagreement with The Commander, nobody ever wins.

“Tell me Octavia, what does one do exactly when they are … getting off?”

“Oh Heda, you have much to learn.” The brunette smiled and began to tell Lexa about movies and music that mentioned the deed.


	2. The Commander Cannot Draw

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa go out on an adventure that turns awry.

Clarke had never been so mortified and embarrassed in her entire time. Sure there was that one time in kindergarten when Jacob Adams dunked her braids in a can of paint and she didn’t notice until she got to her pod. She walked for ten minutes and passed hundreds of people with a rainbow of paint across her hair. Compared to what just happened though? She’d rather live through a million more Jacob Adams than face Lexa.

She realized that she didn’t have enough time to properly clean herself before meeting Lexa, so she opted for a few wet cloths and new clothes. It only took her five minutes to get ready before she was out the door and headed for Lexa’s makeshift Council House. 

To her surprise, the hut was empty except for Lexa. Clarke thought that she had finally snuck up on The Commander, but in actuality, Lexa knew Clarke’s position before she even entered the hut.

“You do not have to continue with your stealth. I have been well aware of your presence before you have had the chance to enter. However, it was an impressive attempt.” Lexa didn’t bother looking up from what seemed to be multiple charts scattered all over the table in the center of the room.

“How can you work under those conditions? You’re so unorganized Commander.”

“Am I unorganized even though I know the position of everything I should ever need?”

“Fair enough.”

A small smile escaped Lexa’s lips but Clarke missed it as she studied the room.

“So, what did you need my counsel for again?”

“It shall become spring before your people realize. Once the ground has thawed and the soil is rich and fertile once more, we shall plant crops and celebrate the bounty it will provide for us.”

“How come you didn’t know what a garden was?”

“My people, we do not plant, we are hunter and gatherers. We are always on the move, never in one place. I suppose we never had the need. The clans were never very big. Villages are scattered everywhere on our world that is why the clans never merge. It is easier to care for a small tribe than many people at once.”

“So why the sudden change of customs?”

“Because you are our people now. We shall provide for you. Also, when we rescued our friends from the Mountain Men, we found plenty of seeds, all different colors. My people were told by yours that they provide different fruits.”

“How long will this last?”

“The garden?”

“No, our alliance.”

“As long as you wish, Clarke of the Sky People.”

Clarke furrowed her brows and Lexa sensed something was upsetting the other leader.

“You shall speak if something is burdening your thoughts.”

Clarke exhaled a breath she wasn’t even aware she was holding. “You mentioned that your people always travel, move place to place, never stay somewhere for long. 

Lexa responded with a nod.

“When will you leave again?”

“Never. This is where we shall establish.”

Clarke sighed, relieved that she will be able to be with Lexa longer than she had initially thought. Why was she even relieved? It’s not like her and Lexa have anything going on. They’re both leaders of their own people; they meet up to discuss plans. They’ll occasionally hold a conversation, but nothing ever personal, always platonic. So why was Clarke so hung up on the thought that she might have nearly lost one of the few people she cared about. Lexa was staying, for good. She should be happy. 

“Clarke?”

The blonde snapped back into reality.

“Sorry, were you saying something?”

“Yes. It appears as though you were ignoring me.”

“No! I promise I wasn’t, I was just thinking.”

“You shall share with me your thoughts once we arrive.”

“Arrive? Where are we going?”

Lexa didn’t answer. Instead, she walked over to where her armor sat, picked it up, and holstered it on, clipping it together by her sternum.

“You shall be patient and see when we have arrived.”

Clarke groaned. She hated when Lexa was being ominous. 

__

The pair had walked for nearly two hours when they finally arrived at their destination. They stood on a cliff overlooking a lake that Clarke didn’t recognize. It was beautiful. It was breathtaking. It was a view that Clarke would never be able to forget, even after she has aged and her memory fails her. She wanted to share it with her mother, even though she wasn’t exactly on great terms with her. Clarke doesn’t believe she’ll ever be able to truly forgive her mother for floating her father, but she can try. After all, Clarke wasn’t the only one that suffered a loss that night; her mother lost her husband as well. Clarke deemed it enough for now.

Lexa held her hand out for Clarke to take.

“You must be careful when walking around here. Promise me that, Clarke.”

Clarke nodded and grabbed a hold of Lexa’s extended hand. It was soft but hard at the same time and Clarke couldn’t wrap her mind around how that could be. Lexa was a warrior, taking damage to every part of her body. Yet her hands, despite callouses and scars, were still remarkably soft. The blonde wondered about how soft the rest of Lexa’s body might be. She shook her head to clear the thoughts away. This wasn’t the time nor place for distractions. 

The Commander pulled out a blanket made of fur from her satchel and placed it on the most flat part of the cliff. 

“Sit.” She ordered, and Clarke obeyed.

Their feet were dangling over the edge of the cliff as they took in the view.

Unbeknownst to Clarke, this was Lexa’s favorite place to go to growing up. Before being Commander, Lexa would always travel here in her spare time between trainings and lectures. Unless Clarke asks, however, Lexa would never dare to share such an intimate piece of her.

They sat in silence for what seemed like hours to Clarke. She was never one to be good under complete and utter silence. However, she also didn’t want to bother Lexa. Especially because it looked like Lexa was enjoying the view, almost as if she were reminiscing, as she gazed over the horizon.

Clarke was surprised when it was Lexa who broke the silence.

“Are you happy?”

“Of course. Who wouldn’t be with this view?”

“Not about the location we are in at the moment. I was asking about being here on the ground.”

“Commander, I have dreamt about being able to touch the grass and the leaves, feel the breeze against my hair and cheek, and feel the water rush beneath me for as long as I can remember. Being up in space? It’s not as amazing as it sounds. Everything is so proper and constricted. It felt redundant, and nobody seemed to have any freedom or creativity.”

Lexa intently listened to Clarke’s answer.

“For that I am glad that you landed on the ground to be with me. I enjoy your company more than others from my own clan. Thank you.”

“For what? I should be thanking you. I mean look at this view.”

Clarke took a deep breath in and exhaled slowly. It felt amazing to have the sun on her face and the wind in her hair. It felt even more amazing, to have Lexa right beside her, sharing this moment.

Lexa turned to grab her satchel, which was propped up against a rock. She picked up two apples and handed one to Clarke.

“Indra insisted we bring snacks on our journey even after I told her we should not be gone for long.”

Clarke reluctantly grabbed the apple, but as soon as she did, she smiled. “I’ll remember to thank Indra once we get back, I haven’t eaten much all day, and we did kind of skip dinner.”

“For that I apologize, Clarke of the Sky People. I was not thinking properly. I should have prepared more.”

“It’s okay, honestly. You did more than enough taking me out here.”

Once again, the two sat in silence with the exception of the occasional bites each girl took into their apples.

It wasn’t long before Lexa broke the silence once more.

“Do you wish to draw the view?”

Clarke finished chewing before answering. “Thanks for reminding me! I’ve wanted to draw this place ever since we got here.”

Lexa offered her a gentle smile before looking away when Clarke turned to fetch her own satchel.

“You do not mind if I sharpen my sword?”

“No, of course not, why would I?”

“The noise it makes, I do not wish to distract your wonderful work.”

Clarke let out a small laugh. “Honestly Lexa, it’s fine. I won’t take long, I promise.”

“Take the time that you need to create a wonderful piece to return home to show your people. But I shall warn you, not many people know of this place. It is actually considered to belong to me because I am their Heda, but I wanted to share this with you so that you may create a piece.”

“Then I shall guard this secret with my life.” Clarke offered.

Lexa smiled but Clarke missed it once again. 

The Commander began sharpening her sword and Clarke scribbled away in her journal. Lexa couldn’t help but notice that it was rather old and worn out. She made a mental note to look for more journals and paper for Clarke to draw on when she goes out hunting and exploring tomorrow. 

The two continued with their respectful activities and once Clarke finished, so did Lexa. The eager blonde held up the picture to show Lexa the final product.

“So, what do you think?”

Lexa grabbed the journal and examined the picture that was scribbled on the page with multiple colors. She held it up against the inspiration and noticed that Clarke did a magnificent job capturing the small details throughout the lake and the nearby surroundings.

“It is most impressive, Clarke of the Sky People! It is surely a thing of pure beauty. I am sure that if you wish to share it with someone, or offer it as a gift, that they will truly be happy.”

Clarke couldn’t help but blush at Lexa’s encouraging words. She knew that The Commander wasn’t much for small talk and well, generally anything positive, so to hear her speak so fondly of her work made Clarke a bit proud.

“Do you want to try to draw something?”

“Never. I am not gifted as you are with your hands and fingers.”

Clarke’s eyes widened.

“What is it? Did I say something to offend the Sky People’s leader?”

“No,” Clarke bit her lip to try to control the blood rushing to her cheeks, “It’s just … what you just said is a bit … provocative.”

“Oh.” Was all Lexa could manage out, understanding the word provocative thanks to Octavia’s earlier lesson.

“Yep.”

“I apologize.”

“You know, for a cold commander, you sure apologize to me a lot.”

“Fine. I shall never apologize to you anymore, Clarke.”

Clarke wasn’t sure if she should be relieved or hurt, but she knew Lexa didn’t exactly mean it. She turned the page in her journal and offered Lexa a small piece of charcoal.

“Try to draw the thing that you believe to be the most beautiful thing you have laid your eyes on.”

Lexa took the charcoal from Clarke’s hand along with the journal, and hesitantly began marking the page Clarke had turned to. Lexa wasn’t one for drawing, or anything creative of the sort. That’s why her generals always offer to draw maps for her, to ensure that their people would not be confused with Lexa’s attempt at illustrating where they needed to be.

Five minutes passed and Lexa finally looked up from the page. Clarke peeked over her shoulder and squinted her eyes, trying to analyze what exactly it is that Lexa drew.

“I am victorious with my attempt, am I not?”

Clarke was terrible at lying but she couldn’t bring herself to be honest and hurt The Commander’s feelings. She picked up the journal and studied the piece some more. Through the corner of her eye, she noticed Lexa’s green eyes, anticipating an answer.

“It’s lovely.” Clarke finally stated. “I love the shapes you incorporated into it. But, Lexa?”

“Yes, what is it Clarke?”

“What is it meant to be?”

Lexa’s face fell and Clarke felt her own heart shatter. Never in her life on the ground has she seen someone’s face so hurt and broken. In her defense however, Lexa drew a stick figure with hair and a lopsided grin.

Lexa couldn’t tell Clarke that she had attempted to draw her, so instead she lied.

“It was meant to be what you and your people call a joke. It was meant to be Octavia. She is very beautiful, am I wrong?”

“No, no, you’re right. Octavia is very pretty, but her hair isn’t wavy like the one you drew.” She looked up to meet Lexa’s eyes.

“Alright. I have lied to you, Clarke. I tried to draw the love of my life, Costia.”

Suddenly, Clarke wished that it were Octavia that Lexa tried to draw. Even that would have hurt less than this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed it! This chapter is a bit longer to make up for the first one. I kind of just threw a bunch of words together and posted it without much thought. This one was a bit more planned out? I still threw caution to the wind but yeah, thank you for reading as always :D (Also, constructive criticism is welcomed! Kinda new at this)


	3. Costia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa shares with Clarke the story of her true love.

So maybe this is the reason why Clarke isn't infuriated with The Commander after forcing her to kill Finn. But wasn't Finn’s death all on her? Lexa never mentioned that Clarke would have to be the one to kill her lover. Lexa never gave her an ultimatum; she just said that their alliance would begin with Finn’s death, not that Clarke had to be the one to stab the blade into him.

Maybe Clarke actually has some sort of feelings for the other girl. Even if she did, she knew that they could never have what Lincoln and Octavia do. Lexa is The Commander, and Clarke is just a foreigner, they weren't equals despite both being leaders. Besides, even if Lexa won’t admit it, Clarke knows that she’s still hung up on Costia. Who wouldn’t? She was her first love. At one point, even The Commander probably believed Costia would be her last.

And Clarke doesn’t know what hurts more: Lexa still being in love with Costia, or, their forbidden love, if they even get that far in their relationship.

“Clarke of the Sky People, you still have not shared with me what was troubling your thoughts earlier in the Council House. And now you seem troubled once again. Share your thoughts so that I may carry the burden along with you.”

Clarke rolled her eyes before replying, “It doesn’t matter. I was just thinking about things that are unimportant in comparison to, well, everything really.”

“It matters to me.”

The blonde was caught off guard with Lexa’s sudden concern and gentleness. The Commander being concerned and gentle had the odds of one to never.

“It’s personal, and I’m still trying to understand everything. I’ll let you know once I have everything figured out, okay?”

Lexa didn’t understand why it was so hard for the leader of the Sky People to simply share with her the thoughts that have clearly been bothering her. Perhaps it’s just another trait that she ceases to understand about the Sky People. Her people were open with each other, rarely secretive. Especially with her, she was the highest authority of them all.

“As you wish, Clarke of the Sky People.”

“Stop calling me that.”

“I do not understand? Why shall I call you by another name?”

“Drop the ‘of the Sky People’ and we’re good.”

“As you wish, Clarke.”

This elicited a smile from Clarke, one that Lexa was glad she was there to witness.

“Shall we head back to Camp Jaha? The sun is setting and soon it will be dark. We still have a long way to walk.”

“Yeah, that’s actually a pretty good idea. Hopefully there are some leftovers from dinner so that I can grab some before I head to my room.”

“I should have brought more offerings for you. Indra warned me yet I ignored.”

“It’s honestly okay. You’re okay.”

Lexa offered Clarke a strong nod, got up, and held her hand out for the blonde to take.

Clarke smiled and took Lexa’s hand, quicker than she had ever before. Lexa could be trusted; she knows that she would never bring any harm to her, maybe to her people, but definitely not her. It was these small and insignificant gestures that made Clarke believe the two could potentially become great friends. But potentials and ifs are what will get her people killed. She would rather not lose focus on what really was at hand: the guaranteed safety of her people. Feelings, especially for Lexa are deemed weakness. Love is weakness and Clarke refused to be weak.

So she did what had to be done.

“Tell me about her.”

Lexa didn’t need to ask whom Clarke wished to know more about. She inhaled a deep breath, exhaled, and began speaking.

“Costia was part of my clan. Tree Krew, or Woods Clan, whichever your people call mine. I had seen eight summers when I first saw her. The elders of my clan had realized that my previous soul passed onto me and I was the next chosen one.” She gathered the fur that she laid earlier, folded it, and placed it inside her satchel. Clarke followed suit and quickly gathered her art materials.

“Her mother was a gatherer and her father was a hunter. It was their duty to provide for the warriors and the entire village. Of course it was not only the two of them, Costia and other families offered assistance. The first day I saw Costia, I was training with Anya. She passed us and walked over to the table opposite from where Anya and I were fighting. She placed the day’s meals for Anya and I, and then I lost focus. Anya noticed that I had been distracted and so she struck the back of my head with the wooden end of her dagger. I remember the terrified look on Costia’s face, and the instant guilt that followed. I began falling, and all I could think of was how beautiful Costia was. I fell in love with her before my body struck the ground. I fell in love with Costia before I knew what love was.”

The two had started on their long journey back to camp. Clarke was silent and Lexa continued, fighting herself mentally, knowing that what she was doing was weak. A Commander knows not to share personal matter with lesser equals, but Clarke showed weakness by sharing her art. Lexa felt obligated to express gratitude by sharing something of hers as well.

“As Commander, I knew of the many people in my villages, but to put faces on those names proved to be difficult. Which is why as soon as I saw Costia’s beauty for the first time, I was not thinking properly. It was a stupid mistake, one that earned me an earful from Indra and Anya. I was eight and curious so they could not blame me for long. After that day, as soon as my training would finish, I would search high and low for my Costia. It was not until many moons have passed when I saw her again, gathering berries from a field close to Ton DC.”

Lexa looked down at Clarke, who had been uncharacteristically quiet ever since she began her story. Before Clarke could meet her eyes, Lexa turned away and continued.

“We both saw eight summers and did what other children did during the time before the sun hid behind the mountains. We climbed trees and ate apples at the top. We swam in rivers and lakes. We made dolls out of field grass and cloth, and we gave them as gifts to each other. She was what you and your people call a best friend. We grew up together and when I had seen fourteen summers, I told her of my affection. She smiled the most beautiful smile I had ever seen and I knew as soon as I saw her smile that I wanted to be joined in unity with her. I ran to Anya and Indra as fast as my weak legs could carry me. Costia’s smile had changed my legs from strong ones to ones that shook out of pure happiness.”

Clarke couldn’t help but let out a small smile when she pictured what Lexa looked like at such a young age.

“I told them of my romance with Costia and how I wish to be hers and for her to be mine. They approved and told me they shall make preparations for the ceremony at the first sight of light. As the sun lowered and the moon climbed, my happiness could not be contained. The moment Anya and Indra slept in their beds, I ran off into the night to Costia’s cottage. It is rumored that showing signs of affection before two are united would cause great devastation in the unity as well as the village but I could not control myself and so I kissed her. Her lips were soft and I felt a million stars burst inside of my body. As promised, Anya and Indra began preparations at first light. I was overjoyed during my hunt that I killed three wild boars on my own. The energy from my happiness leaving my body with each kill.”

Lexa’s fond memories made The Commander smile into the night sky, and this time, Clarke finally saw it. But just like that, it was gone.

“Gustus rode on my people’s fastest horse to search for me in the woods. I was half a day away from our village when he saw me. ‘Heda!’ He yelled out. ‘Heda, you must return to the village immediately.’ I looked at him and saw worry in his eyes. ‘The boars, someone must bring them home.’ I wanted to provide my people with a feast during the union, and it would have required the boars to be brought to our village. ‘Heda, it is Costia, she was taken. The Ice Nation—’ Gustus did not have time to finish what it was he was meant to say before I climbed onto my own horse and rode the opposite direction of our village. My destination was the Ice Nation. What Gustus failed to tell me was that the Ice Nation had been hearing word about my closeness with Costia. They wished to know my secrets and my weakness so that they could defeat me and the Ice Nation could rule the twelve clans once again.”

A noise startled Clarke, but Lexa already had her sword drawn. When the two noticed it was just a baby boar, Lexa returned her sword and continued with the story, wrapping it up upon seeing they were nearing Camp Jaha.

“It took two suns and a moon for me to arrive at the Ice Nation. I almost lost my horse, never letting her stop to rest or drink. If I could go on without stopping, so could the horse of The Commander. My horse had not stopped before I jumped off and ran to the center of the village where I knew the leader of their clan had established. I saw their leader nearing Costia with a drawn sword. She was bleeding and appeared to be lifeless before her heart was torn. I yelled her name and drew my sword when a hundred guards approached me. She looked up and our eyes met once more before their leader stabbed the sword into her chest. I ran between the guards and aimed for their leader. But I missed and two guards cut my back with their swords.”

Clarke knew Lexa was incapable of missing, so the fact that she missed her only chance at revenge for the woman she loved shocked the blonde.

“I took the lives of many that night, before my people arrived. Their leader escaped and I could do nothing but untie Costia from the post they had her against. I held my love in my arms as she passed and wept the sorrows of a thousand deaths for my Costia.”

Tears were threatening to fall down her cheeks, but Lexa clenched her jaw and looked up. This was already weakness; there was no need to show any more.

“I’m sorry.” Was all Clarke could choke out. At this point, she felt guilty for even being jealous of Costia, for possibly hating her for stealing Lexa’s heart. She was and will forever be, The Commander’s only love. Clarke had to accept that.

“Love is weakness, Clarke. It distracts us and we lose focus, we lose control. It allows us to believe that our actions are correct when our minds know they are wrong. Love is weakness because love is pain. It is hurt. It is anger and it is frustration. It is the feeling of hopelessness. It is a shape shifter, changing our emotions ever so quickly in our hearts. It is dangerous. It is weakness, and in order to survive, we must not be weak.”

The pair finally arrived at Camp Jaha and to Clarke’s surprise; it seemed quiet and empty apart from some grounder and Sky guards patrolled around the perimeter.

“Thank you, for sharing with me. I know it must have been hard and I know you probably believe that you’re weak for doing so, but talking about your feelings is considered brave with my people. Once again, I’m terribly sorry for your loss. Costia seemed like an amazing girl and it would have been my honor to meet her. Thank you for also sharing with me the amazing view the lake had for us today. It was nice to take a break, I feel like I haven’t relaxed even after we rescued our people from Mount Weather.”

“There is no need to thank me, Clarke. It was my pleasure. Shall I see you tomorrow for a morning meal?”

“You shall.” The blonde offered a weak smile and walked away from Lexa to the food storage room for a small meal.

Lexa made her way to the entrance of the camp and spoke Trigedasleng to the two guards posted there. They nodded and Lexa left to return to her own camp.

__

It took The Commander ten minutes before she arrived in front of Indra and Octavia’s hut.

“Okteivia!”

Octavia jumped out of bed and fell onto the floor. Her hair was a tangled mess and there was a trail of drool that dripped down the side of her left cheek. Lexa swore she saw a few leaves buried in the nest that Octavia called her hair. Indra was surely training her second properly. The Sky girl turned grounder was exhausted and dirty, just like Lexa once was when she was a young child training to become the best Commander.

“Heda?” She answered groggily.

“I wish to seek more knowledge.”

Octavia rubbed her eyes, “About getting off?”

Lexa blushed and further raised her voice. “No! I wish to know if Clarke’s art is her birthright.”

“Birthright?” Octavia was still on the floor, half asleep.

Indra smacked her forehead with her right hand before answering Octavia’s question. Her second will surely cause her forehead to cave inward with her stupidity. “The Commander wishes to know if Clarke was born with the ability to draw and paint.”

Octavia got up from the floor and sat on the edge of her bed. She shrugged. “I don’t know, Heda, I knew of Clarke up on The Ark, but I didn’t personally know her until we landed here. I can ask Abby for you.”

Lexa nodded but Octavia didn’t see, her eyes were shut and she was dosing off once more. It didn’t take long for Octavia to fall unconscious onto her bed. This act caused Lexa to let out a soft chuckle, waking Indra up instantly from her tired state. It was rare to hear The Commander amused.

“Do not worry Heda, we shall ask The Chancellor in the morning about Clarke’s abilities.”

“Thank you, Indra. Now please, return to your slumber.”

“Yes, Heda. Until the morning meal.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you're enjoying the story so far :) (Also I didn't really edit it, so in case there are errors, I apologize!!)


	4. Cinnamon Apple Yellow Mushy Mush

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke shares an all time favorite with The Commander

Lexa beat the sun at its own rising game. The Commander was already at Camp Jaha waiting for the others to wake up before the sun could wake itself. As Commander, she was first to wake and last to sleep, something she was accustomed to after all her years of training. Some of the grounder guards approached her and asked for permission to speak. She’d grant them permission and they’d inform her of their patrol results.

Half an hour passed and Lexa was still sitting on a tree stump. A lot of the grounders and even some Sky People were getting worried because this was such an uncharacteristic behavior from their Commander. But nevertheless, Lexa waited and waited until Clarke finally appeared through the opening of Alpha Station.

Lexa was playing with a dagger in her hands, the intricately designed object proving to be a pleasant distraction, when she noticed a slight hint of blonde from the corner of her eyes.

“Clarke!”

Clarke jumped back, startled at Lexa’s high energy in the morning.

“God Lexa, you scared me.”

“I apologize Clarke. It’s just I had been waiting for the others to join me for the morning meal and you were the first I saw.”

The older girl smirked at Lexa’s words. “What happened to never apologizing to me again, huh?”

Lexa’s cheeks turned crimson under her war paint. It was faint but Clarke still managed to catch a glimpse of it.

“I would never wish to startle you and give you a faint of heart. That would prove to be very unproductive, considering you are a leader, and a leader must maintain good health.”

Clarke smiled, a truly genuine smile that made Lexa’s heart skip a beat. The sun was quickly painting the sky a clear blue, perfect for hunting and exploring. Lexa considered offering Clarke to search close to the dead zone with her, but at the same time, she wanted to surprise Clarke with her gifts. The two leaders walked in silence until they arrived at the food storage room with a makeshift table at the front accompanied by Nyko and Nathan Miller serving both grounders and Sky People. There was a line and people offered to allow the two leaders to go in front of them but Lexa and Clarke both refused, besides the line was moving quickly anyway.

Clarke bit her bottom lip, trying to pull at the piece of chapped skin that was bothering the girl. She tucked her hands in her back pockets and stepped forward alongside Lexa.

“You know what? Even though I hate the Mountain Men, and I know hate is a strong word, but I hate them so much, I’m glad they had a lot of food with them. Now our people can actually eat properly instead of just relying on measly servings of meat and berries.”

Lexa laughed and took a step forward when the line moved.

“Do you mean to say that my hunting is not enough for you?”

Clarke pressed her tongue against the side of her cheek and Lexa raised an eyebrow. The older girl shook her head and nudged The Commander with her shoulder as they moved forward.

“You know what? I think I might hate you more than the Mountain Men.”

Lexa gasped and placed a hand over her heart.

“I have suffered a thousand stabs to the heart with your words.”

Clarke simply rolled her eyes and took another step forward. Finally it was their turn for some breakfast, or morning meal as Lexa likes to call it despite Clarke teaching her the proper terminology.

“Hey Nathan!”

“Mornin’ Clarke! Got your favorite for ya.”

He grabbed a bowl and scooped a ladle full of oatmeal into it.

Lexa looked revolted at the sight of the yellow mush that was placed in Clarke’s bowl, not noticing Nyko holding out her own bowl for her.

He cleared his throat, “Commander?”

Lexa raised her eyebrows, “Oh. Thank you, Nyko.”

Clarke’s shoulder brushed against Lexa. Once Lexa looked up, the older girl tilted her head, signaling for them to take a seat at a nearby empty table. As soon as they arrived at the table, Clarke swung her legs over the bench seating in one swift motion and waited for Lexa to do the same before scooting the bench closer to the table.

Lexa placed her bowl down and stared at it for a good few seconds before looking up at Clarke, a disgusted look replaced her naturally stern one.

“You mean to tell me this is your favorite?” Lexa sounded like she couldn’t believe that this yellow mush could ever be someone’s favorite.

Clarke waited until she swallowed a spoonful of the oatmeal before she replied.

“Yeah! Oatmeal is amazing! Although this one is a bit tougher than I prefer but it’s still oatmeal!”

Lexa grimaced as she picked up a spoonful of the oatmeal. She was not looking forward to eating what the Sky People called oatmeal. To her it was mush. Disgusting, yellow, mushy mush. She looked over at Clarke who was nearly halfway done with her oatmeal. She couldn’t fathom how easy it was for her friend to down a bowl of this revolting substance.

It wasn’t long before Indra, Octavia, Lincoln, Raven, Monty, Jasper, and Bellamy joined them. The sky people were just as eager for the oatmeal as Clarke, and to Lexa’s surprise even Indra and Lincoln were enjoying it. Indra enjoying anything was definitely surprising for anybody, but the chief was clearly appreciating her bowl.

“Lexa?”

The Commander transferred her gaze from Indra to Clarke. The others also looked up at the two leaders.

“Are you okay? You haven’t touched your food yet.”

“I am fine. I just … I do not understand –” She pointed to her bowl, “This.”

Clarke set her spoon down and got up from the table. Lexa’s eyes widened, afraid that she had offended her friend. Instead of saying something, she let Clarke return to Nyko and Nathan. She looked at the others for explanation but they all shrugged and returned to their morning meal. Lexa looked over her shoulder and noticed Clarke talking to Nathan who left his post and retreated to the food storage hut. He reappeared momentarily with three bowls stacked up on each other and items inside the bowl on top. The young Commander squinted her eyes in attempt to figure out what the items are but to no avail despite the close distance between the serving table and their own. Her eyes strained a bit, causing her to blink rapidly and rub at her eyes. Clarke began walking back towards their table and as soon as she sat down, everybody looked up again.

“What are those?” Lexa asked, curiously pointing at the ingredients laid out in front of her.

Octavia smirked and looked over at the other Sky People who in turn had grins plastered across their faces.

“Here let me.”

Clarke grabbed Lexa’s bowl of oatmeal and separated it into the three extra bowls she grabbed. She grabbed a powdery substance and a few sliced apples and began mixing them into the bowl on the left. Once satisfied that the ingredients were all incorporated, she then grabbed the middle bowl and poured a sticky substance into it before mixing again. The bowl on the right was the only one Lexa knew because all Clarke did was pour a handful of mixed berries and mixed them in.

“Okay try this first.” Clarke grabbed a small spoonful of her oatmeal and held it up for Lexa.

The Commander looked at Clarke in silence, her eyes speaking for her, screaming with pure agony. She didn’t want to eat the oatmeal, it was scary and not something that looks like it would belong in someone’s body. However, Clarke insisted. She tilted her head, waiting for Lexa to try the oatmeal already. Lexa gulped and slowly opened her mouth. The older girl smiled and placed the spoon inside Lexa’s mouth, letting the other girl eat the oatmeal on her own before carefully pulling the spoon away. Lexa chewed, and chewed, and chewed, until she was finally able to swallow the oatmeal. It took a lot of effort to refrain herself from throwing up, but once her stomach settled, she looked up at Clarke. She could sense the whole table waiting for her response. Even Clarke looked curious.

“So? What do you think?”

“It is uhm, it is very soft but not?”

Clarke laughed at her friend before replying, “It’s supposed to be like that. Kinda soft because it’s cooked, but it’ll still have those oat bits. But how’s the flavor?”

“Plain. It did not taste like much.”

“Uh huh, that’s why I have these three bowls for you!”

The blonde placed the bowls in front of Lexa. She handed The Commander a spoon and pointed to the bowl on the left.

“Alright, here we have apple and cinnamon oatmeal. The one in the middle is maple, which leaves the one to the right just plain oatmeal with mixed berries. Simple right?”

Lexa nodded.

“Try them, I promise they’ll taste better.”

Lexa looked at Clarke and hesitantly grabbed a spoonful of the apple and cinnamon flavored oatmeal. She placed it in her mouth and caught Octavia’s eyes. As she chewed, Octavia’s eyes widened, waiting for her commander’s response.

Lexa’s eyes lit up and Clarke smiled.

“I like this one!”

“See, told ya! Now try the other two.”

Lexa did as she was told, but she’d deny it and say she tried the others on her own free will if people were to dare challenge her about her softness for the leader of the Sky People. Lexa liked the maple oatmeal but wasn’t too fond of the one with mixed berries. Despite the berries adding a hint of flavor, it still wasn’t enough to mask the taste of the boring oatmeal.

“I think my favorite is the cinnamon and apple one.”

Octavia smiled and nodded in agreement.

“Heda, that was my favorite growing up as well.”

The Commander nodded in approval before offering Octavia the rest of her cinnamon and apple oatmeal.

“Heda, no, that’s for you.”

“I shall have the maple one today. You however, will have your childhood favorite.”

“Thank you, Heda.” Octavia gave her Commander a strong nod before sharing the flavored oatmeal with Lincoln, who enjoyed the taste as well. Octavia even offered some to Indra who tried a spoonful or two.

The conversations the people at the table had were indistinct to the two leaders.

“Thank you, Clarke, for sharing your ways with me and for teaching me about cinnamon and apple oatmeal.”

Clarke laughed and shook her head, placing a hand on Lexa’s shoulder as she spoke.

“No need to thank me, if we’re going to spend time with each other, we’re gonna have to like a few of the same things sooner or later.”

Lexa smiled and finished her maple-flavored oatmeal. Clarke ate the mixed berries one although she already finished her own bowl. The two friends talked about their garden plans while the others at the table chatted and laughed at an old joke Indra heard from her mother. It was only the start of the day but both Clarke and Lexa knew that today is going to be one of those great days that just make every negative thing seem insignificant even for just a small moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SORRY THIS IS LATE OH MY GOSH AND THAT IT'S SHORT, I PROMISE I'LL MAKE IT UP TO YOU BECAUSE I HAVE PROMPTS FOR EACH CHAPTER UNTIL CHAPTER 13 AND TO MAKE IT UP TO YOU GUYS I'LL MAKE THE UPDATE ON FRIDAY 10K+ WORDS. I'M SORRY AGAIN!! Thank you for taking the time to read this mess! I love you guys!


	5. Gatherers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A lovely afternoon stroll for gathering materials.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've been working on this for 11 hours straight, not even lying or exaggerating to you so I haven't edited it yet so please bear with me for the typos and stuff. Usually these notes are after the chapter but I wanted to let you know before you read the chapter that there are probably lots of typos but it's more than 10k words as promised!! Sorry it took me a million years but I hope you guys enjoy!!!! It was one hell of a ride to write and probably the longest chapter I've ever written sdkfjhskdjfh. Thank you for reading!!!
> 
> Edit: My girlfriend is amazing and edited this for me!!

The group stayed at their table despite having finished their breakfast minutes ago. They each chatted in their respective pairs, each other's conversation barely audible amidst the collective chatter. Monty and Jasper talked about the latter’s unwavering love for Maya, Lincoln and Octavia - still in the honeymoon phase - grossed everybody out with their public displays of affection, and Raven along with Bellamy were discussing foraging around Mount Weather later on in the day. Even Indra joined in on some of the conversations. Clarke had managed to consume four more bowls of oatmeal, and with each new bowl, Lexa gradually grew accustomed to the sight and smell, even the taste as Clarke begged for Lexa to try more flavors.

Abby and Kane returned from the launch pod and noticed the two leaders along with theirs friends chatting away unceremoniously. Their intent was to pass without being noticed, afraid of disturbing the bonding session the children were having. Of course, nothing ever truly goes unnoticed around Camp Jaha.

Octavia was the first to spot The Chancellor and Kane. She waved at the two, her eyes locking with Lexa’s. The Commander gave Octavia a small nod that went unnoticed by Clarke, who was too busy finishing what she claimed to be her last bowl of the day. Octavia excused herself from the table, and ran up to Abby.

“I’ll see you in the infirmary.” Kane reported as he left the two women alone.

“What can I do for you Octavia?” Abby asked, turning to face the younger girl.

Octavia noticed that Clarke had begun paying attention, so she gestured for Abby to follow her further away, ensuring that they were no longer within Clarke’s hearing vicinity.

“The Commander wishes to have a counsel with you privately.”

“Alright, so why doesn’t The Commander come up to me herself?”

“Well, because it has something to do with Clarke, and she doesn’t necessarily want Clarke asking questions. We both know Clarke, and if she sees Heda talking to you, she’ll interrogate every person and every creature in this world until she finds out what you two spoke about.”

Abby shook her head in amusement. Octavia was right, Clarke can be dramatic about things, but she understood why The Commander wished for a private counsel.

“Alright, tell The Commander that I will be in the infirmary for the rest of the day.”

“Will do! Thanks Chancellor.”

Abby offered the younger girl a smile before making her way into Alpha Station.

Octavia returned and to her surprise, Clarke didn’t notice. The blonde was too enthralled with Lexa to notice anything.

Octavia cleared her throat and began talking in Trigedasleng, “Heda, Abby would like to inform you that she will be in the infirmary for the rest of the day, ready for your counsel.”

Lexa replied, “Thank you, Octavia. Now, help me to distract this one.” Her eyes shifted to Clarke and both Octavia and Lincoln caught on.

It was Lincoln’s turn to speak.

“Hey Clarke, there are some seeds and gardening materials left in Mount Weather, would you like to come with us to retrieve them?”

Clarke looked over at Lexa, without saying anything, the older girl asked The Commander for permission.

Lexa sensed what was happening, but instead of providing an answer for Clarke, she shrugged her shoulders. It was Clarke’s decision and time, not hers. She wasn’t sure why Clarke was even asking for permission, it’s not like she was in control of her.

“It is up to you Clarke, but an adventure sounds good, don’t you agree?”

The blonde nodded and answered Lincoln, “It’ll be fun. I’d be happy to join.”

Indra spoke up, “I shall accompany the three of them, Heda. For protection.”

The Commander agreed with her chief. She knew that Lincoln and Octavia could handle themselves, but she always feared for Clarke’s safety. The mutual understanding between Indra, Lincoln, Octavia and Lexa about ensuring Clarke’s safety as the number one priority has always been an unspoken one, but the three knew how much their Commander cared for the leader of the Sky People.

The three grounders stood up and started putting their armor on. They double-checked to make sure that all of their weapons were in their proper holders. Clarke was no exception to this, she checked to make sure her guns had a full load of ammunition before placing them in their holsters.

Lexa stood up and positioned herself in front of the three leaders she trusted the most out of her clan. Clarke made her way over to the other side of the table where Raven, Jasper, Monty, and Bellamy were seated.

“Do you guys want anything?”

Raven was the first to speak up, “Yeah! Bellamy and I were actually talking about possibly foraging around the mountain for some tech scraps. Mind taking a look around for us and just bringing back anything you think we’ll need? We haven’t really had the time to actually log the materials that we do have. Actually, I think I might just head up there with you guys. This leg is getting a bit rusty with all the sitting around I’ve been doing.”

Lexa was giving the three orders when Octavia overhead that Raven wanted to join them.

“No!” She exclaimed, and everybody turned his or her attention toward her.

“No? What? Just because I’m crippled I can’t get my own materials?” Raven challenged.

“No, it’s not that, it’s just, uhm …” Octavia tried to formulate a lie in her head. Raven’s eyebrow was raised; waiting to hear what kind of bullshit Octavia was going to come up with. “We just uhm …”

“Electricity.” Lincoln interrupted, looking down at his girlfriend. Her face had an apologetic smile plastered across it. “We need electricity inside the Council House.”

The Commander wasn’t sure what game the two were playing, nor was she buying their lie. She never requested for light inside the Council House, people barely went inside it. Candles did the job just fine. She looked over at Octavia, who grew silent. Indra’s jaw was clenched and Octavia knew she was about to receive an earful from her first.

The silence between everybody was killing Octavia until Raven finally spoke up. Her voice was filled with doubt but she reluctantly agreed.

“Alright? I guess I can scramble some stuff up.”

Octavia let out a breath she wasn’t even aware she was holding.

Raven looked at Lexa and The Commander held her head high and waved her right hand. Raven and Bellamy nodded with acknowledgement and began making their way into Alpha Station.

Clarke narrowed her eyes at The Commander who ignored her and focused on Octavia. She spoke in Trigedasleng again so that Clarke wouldn’t be able to understand them.

“Explain yourself.” She ordered.

“Heda, Raven shares Clarke’s birthright of painting and drawing. She can help you if Abby is unsure of how to answer your questions. If she goes with us and Abby fetches for her, you will have to wait until tomorrow’s first light to get advice.”

Lexa was taken aback by Octavia’s quick thinking. She knew Indra’s second was intelligent, but she didn’t know that she could think four steps ahead like that.

The Commander gestured for her three leaders to go forth with their journey, instructing them to return Clarke before sundown and to not listen to her if she suggests they stay longer. Lexa did not bother with Clarke, instead she followed after Raven and Bellamy who had already disappeared inside Alpha Station. Clarke stood by the table, watching Lexa’s back as she walked away. Indra, Lincoln, and Octavia were already past the fence that surrounded Camp Jaha when Octavia noticed that Clarke wasn’t following them. Not even two feet outside of camp and they already managed to lose the person their Commander cared for the most. She quickly jogged back and motioned for Clarke to catch up to them.

“Clarke, we gotta get going if we’re to be back before sundown.”

Clarke nodded, her eyes never leaving Lexa’s figure until her friend disappeared into the station. She wondered why she just ignored her like that. She spoke with Indra, Lincoln, and Octavia but not her. It wasn’t like Lexa to be so nonchalant when it came to her. She decided it wasn’t worth the unnecessary analyzing she was accustomed to, so she shook her head and ran up to Octavia and the two jogged until they reached Indra and Lincoln.

__

“Chancellor?” Lexa called out into the empty infirmary.

“Don’t worry, I’m right here.” Abby replied behind Lexa. She was holding a box filled with medical supplies. She set the box down and dusted her hands off. “What can I do for you, Commander?”

Lexa cleared her throat and spoke with the tone she used whenever she had to give orders to her clan. “I wish to know if art is Clarke’s birthright.”

“Clarke was born with her talent, yes, but why does that concern you?”

The younger girl ignored Abby’s question and asked another.

“Can it be learned? Did Clarke have a first? Was she someone’s second?”

“Yeah I believe it can be learned. No Clarke did not have a first, although her father was not a shabby artist himself. I guess maybe she was his second. He always showed Clarke his diagrams for The Ark ever since she was little. It always fascinated my daughter, even if she had no idea what all the shapes and numbers meant.”

Relief washed over The Commander. Art can be learned and so she had a chance.

“I wish to be taught art.” She interrupted Abby.

The Chancellor chuckled, not sure what has gotten into the leader of the grounders.

“I wish I could be of assistance but I’m not an artist.”

Lexa furrowed her brows. If Clarke were an artist, surely her mother would be as well, not just her father. Maybe natural selection didn’t work the same way for the Sky People like it did for the grounders. For grounders, both parents have to have the same talent in order for their offspring to acquire it as well. It could not just be one parent. Her brows shot up as soon as she remembered Octavia’s words from earlier.

“Raven!”

“What about her?”

“Octavia said that you would tell me Raven and Clarke shared the same birthright.”

Abby thought for a moment. Raven is an engineer just like her husband was. Surely she would be able to teach The Commander the basics of art.

“Yeah I suppose Raven would do. But I heard her and Bellamy were working on bringing lighting to your Council House.”

“It was Lincoln’s distraction to ensure that Raven would not accompany the others on their journey to Mount Weather. However, it was originally Octavia’s quick thinking. Thank you, Chancellor. I shall be on my way to look for Raven.”

“Anytime, Commander. Good luck. Don’t worry this can be our secret. Clarke doesn’t have to know about anything.”

“Thank you, once again.” Lexa gave Clarke’s mother a smile – it was a rare sight indeed.

__

Lexa arrived at the makeshift engineering room. Sinclair, Bellamy, Raven, and a few other Sky People she did not recognize were in there. A few grounders were there as well; they were being taught the basics of engineering.

“Out. Except for Raven. I wish to have a counsel with her.”

The grounders were the first to hurry out of the room not wanting to upset their Commander, followed by a very confused Bellamy, and a slightly irritated Sinclair. The rest followed until the room was empty except for Raven and Lexa.

“Uh, hey Commando, what can I do ya for?” Raven tossed her wrench in the air and caught it with her tool belt by adjusting her hip’s position.

“Octavia informed me that you share Clarke’s birthright.”

Raven chortled, “Uh, I don’t know about that, ha. Clarke’s The Ark’s princess and I am just a lowly engineer.” She tapped at her wrench with her pointer finger.

“You misunderstand. Art is Clarke’s birthright. You know art as well, am I wrong?”

Raven narrowed her eyes, “Art? Uh, I guess I can draw, but I mostly copy. I try to picture layouts and draw them on the board so that we can work out the mechanics behind everything.” She leaned against the workbench and pointed behind her with her thumb.

Lexa followed where Raven pointed and slowly made her way over to the board with scribbles and shapes on it. The Commander traced her fingertips across the shapes. She turned around and faced Raven once more.

“Teach me.”

Raven chuckled, “Uh what? Teach you?”

“Yes, I wish to learn.”

Raven’s eyebrows were raised, questioning the intention of her new Commander. Lexa was quiet and Raven analyzed her. Suddenly, she pushed herself off of the counter and threw her hands in the air in defeat.

“Alright, Commando, but we’re gonna need a lot of materials. And I’m talking about paper and pencils. Paint and brushes. Even crayons. Know where we could find some?”

Lexa nodded enthusiastically.

“Yes! By the dead zone! There are a lot of buildings buried there. I believe the materials inside are still of value.”

Raven unclipped her tool belt and tossed it aside onto her workbench.

“After you, Commando.”

Lexa began walking, turning around after a few steps. Raven, not watching where she was going, bumped into her.

“What is that?”

“Commando?”

“Yes.”

“Short for Commander.”

“Not by a lot.”

Raven shrugged, “Still shorter.”

Lexa shook her head before hanging her head low to try to hide her smile.

“Well would ya look at that? Commando knows how to have a lil bit of fun.”

“You are fortunate that you are of value to me or else I would have you punished for teasing one of your leaders.”

“Eh, just admit you need me.”

Lexa looked over at Raven and with her most sincere voice, she gave Raven what she wanted, “You are right. I do need you, Raven.”

“Good to know someone out there needs good ol’ brace-ven.”

Lexa looked confused against so Raven reiterated, “Brace-ven, Raven with a brace?”

“Oh! Understood.”

Raven let out a small laugh as the two exited the station. 

__

“She was probably busy thinking about something.” Octavia spoke up, answering one of the, what must have been hundreds of questions, floating around Clarke’s head.

Indra and Lincoln took this as a sign to walk a couple paces ahead to provide the two with some privacy.

“I just don’t get it. She’s always telling me to stay at camp and if I have to leave, to take one of her guards with me. So why would she let me just leave without giving me her usual warnings about loose grounders or giant mutant animals?”

Octavia felt guilty. She knew the truth but she also knew that whatever Lexa was planning, it’s meant to be kept from Clarke as a surprise.

“Honestly dude, don’t stress out over it. I’m sure Lexa has her reasons; she always has some sort of explanation, right?

Clarke knew Octavia was right but it didn’t stop her from being bothered by it. Sooner or later though, she would have to stop wallowing in self pity and actually start walking faster so that they won’t get stuck at Mount Weather overnight, or worse, in the middle of the woods where anything could get them. She thought about the day when a giant gorilla trapped her and Lexa and she never wants a replay of that for as long as she lives.

Indra called Octavia over and the two began talking in Trigedasleng while Lincoln retreated back to accompany his other leader.

“So, how does it feel to be the leader of the Sky People?” He wondered with genuine curiosity.

Clarke scoffed, “I’m no leader, I don’t even have a title. My mother is their leader. She’s The Chancellor.”

“Can’t you overthrow her?”

“Yeah, but three fourths of camp fell with her, they’re not going to listen to me. She was a leader long before all of this happened. Long before the one hundred of us fell from the sky.”

The two continued to talk about Abby and what life was like on The Ark. Lincoln knew to distract Clarke so that she wouldn’t focus on Indra and Octavia’s conversation. Even if she couldn’t understand them, she’d still be curious.

“Tell me why you made a fool out of me earlier at Camp.” Indra demanded.

“I apologize. Remember when Heda arrived inside our hut asking all sorts of questions about Clarke? Well, I think it might have something to do with her maybe wanting to surprise Clarke with art related stuff. She needed to talk to Abby and Raven is the closest we have to another Clarke. If Raven came with us and Abby needed her for Commander, Heda would grow impatient while she waits for us, and even if we arrive before sundown, it doesn’t guarantee that Lexa would have the privacy alone with Raven that she needs for whatever it is that she’s planning.”

Indra knew she shouldn’t blame her second and although it was a witty move on her part, it was still foolish to lie ungracefully.

“Lying is bad, but we must teach you how to lie better.” This was all Indra said and Octavia nodded, thankful that her first didn’t chew her out, even though she probably deserved it. Indra never punished Octavia unless it was absolutely necessary, and even then, Octavia has never resented her first for it, even if the punishment was cruel and unusual.

The four of them made their way to Mount Weather in silence with a few minutes of conversation here and there. Clarke wasn’t surprised. Lincoln rarely spoke with others, but if it had just been him and Octavia, she had no doubt that the two would talk about everything from a blade of grass to how stars are formed. Indra was also not one to say much, but whenever she did it was full of wisdom, unless she’s yelling at Octavia, which Clarke finds amusing. She always tries to position herself within earshot of Indra if she knows Octavia has done something wrong. 

__

Lexa and Raven were only half an hour away from camp when Raven finally broke the silence between the two. She wasn’t one for long, quiet walks through the forest, and Lexa knew that it would happen sooner or later considering Raven’s speaking capabilities – the girl could potentially speak for years on end if she didn’t need to sleep or eat.

“Do you like Clarke?”

“Of course. She is my equal. I am the leader of my people, and she is the leader of hers.”

“Not like that. I’m talking about like like.”

“Like like?” Lexa questioned, unsure of the terminology Raven used. It wouldn’t be the first, the Sky People seem to have a language of their own, and especially the one hundred that landed first.

“Like like is like when you have a crush on someone. Do you guys use that term?”

“Is crush similar to attraction?”

“Yeah! Having a crush is when you can’t think about anybody else but them, when you’re concerned about their safety and making sure they’re healthy and warm when it’s cold out. It’s when your heart skips a beat whenever they smile and when you get nervous whenever they say your name a certain way.”

Lexa listened to Raven’s words. She hadn’t put much thought into it, but she knew she was attracted to Clarke in some form. Clarke was beautiful, intelligent, hilarious, and a strong leader. She was resourceful and clever, what more could Lexa want in a person. But despite being all of those things, she was still in love with Costia.

“I don’t know. Costia is my love. She captured my heart and she died with it in her hands.”

“Well that’s gloomy, but you know you can have multiple loves right?”

“Multiple? How? Are people not fated to be bound by just one other?”

“Those are what we call soul mates and people have different variations of the exact definition of it. For example, there’s the red string theory where two lovers destined to be together share the same red string and it’s attached to one of their fingers. No matter the distance between the two, the string can never break even if it becomes difficult between the two of them and the string gets tangled.”

Lexa looked at her fingers and frowned when she realized she didn’t have a red string.

Raven caught on and smiled, “Not literally, Commando, figuratively. We don’t literally have red string attached to our fingers, that’d be insane.”

Lexa instantly felt better once Raven explained. For a brief moment, Lexa grew concerned that maybe the string disappeared once your true love passes away. She automatically thought about the day that she witnessed Costia get executed right in front of her.

“Even if I did, uhm, like like, Clarke, I do not think she feels the same towards me.”

Raven let out a mocked laughter, “As if Commando, blondie’s head over heels for you. I mean have you not seen the way that girl looks at you? I’m pretty sure she’s convinced that the sun shines out of your ass.” 

Lexa’s head was twirling with all of these terms that Raven keeps throwing around. However, she managed to use context clues to try to guess her way around Raven’s sentences.

“Why is it that I heard from Jasper something different from what you are telling me?”

“Uh, have you seen the kid? He’s brave, I’ll give him that, but he’s no Monty.”

For once Lexa finally understood one of Raven’s references and for that she was very glad.

“So what is it gonna be? Am I gonna help you win the girl or will you forever be hung up on Costia?”

“She was my first love—”

“And Clarke is your second.” Raven interrupted, “Trust me, just because Finn was my first love, doesn’t mean I can’t have feelings for Bellamy or Monty if I wanted. Even Nyko! Dude’s pretty cool once you get past the entire tough and gloomy exterior.

“I cannot have feelings for Clarke. I cannot put her life in danger as I once did with Costia’s.”

Raven stopped walking and plopped herself down on a nearby patch of tall grass. She took off her brace and massaged her legs. Lexa followed suit and sat down next to a tree, leaning her back against in once she settled down. Raven tossed her a canteen and Lexa took a few massive gulps of water before returning it to its rightful owner.

“She won’t be in danger. Abby would never risk her daughter’s life again. She’ll have you, me, Abby, Bellamy, heck even Octavia and Lincoln. She’ll have everybody protecting her for every second of every day. Don’t let fear keep you from loving again. Also, don’t feel like you’re cheating on Costia if you have feelings for Clarke. Costia will forever be your first love, but that doesn’t mean she has to be your last. You know she would have wanted you to love again, she would have wanted to see you happy and guess what, Commando, you’re so ridiculously happy with Clarke that even I can see it through your nonchalant demeanor.”

Lexa referred back to when Raven was describing what the characteristics of having a crush included. She went through the checklist and realized that if those were what it took to have a crush on someone, then she has the biggest crush on Clarke.

“Okay, let us say that I am fond of Clarke and I am attracted to her, how would I court her?”

“You’re doing it already.”

Lexa furrowed her brows, “What do you mean?”

“You don’t have to tell me why you’re suddenly so eager to learn about art. You want to draw something for her, to show her that you appreciate her, correct me if I’m wrong Commando.”

Lexa’s cheeks flushed a bright crimson. She was caught. Had she known Raven was this intuitive she would have just asked one of her clan’s elders to teach her their way of art, even if it differed from Clarke’s version.

The Commander sighed and began explaining herself to one smirking Raven.

“Yesterday I took her to this lake that I used to visit as a child. She began painting the view and at the end she told me to draw the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. I tried to draw her, and I failed. I lied, saying I meant to draw Octavia because of her beauty, but she caught on the lie and told me that Octavia did not have wavy hair. I lied another time, saying it was Costia, and I believe that I hurt her because she grew quiet, and her eyes no longer had the shine that it had moments before.”

“Smooth, Commando, smooth. She was clearly jealous!”

“Jealous?”

“She wants you and you’re here talking about your dead girlfriend, and I mean that in the nicest way as I possibly can mean anything.”

Lexa sighed; this day would be longer that she had hoped for.

“See I told you that you were already trying to court her. Courting is basically winning over the person you have a crush on. You can give them gifts, take them to dinner, and watch a movie, those sorts of things. I mean you already took her to a private lake, so you’re already deep in the game my friend.”

“I suppose.”

“Wait! Does she know that lake’s important?”

The Commander shook her head.

“Ugh! Lexa! C’mon you’re killing me.”

“If you do not stop speaking, I would have no other choice,” Lexa muttered under her breath. Raven was too focused on her ranting to notice Lexa, who had laid back even further against the tree and looked up at the sky. Oh how she wished she had just asked Clarke to accompany her, maybe then it would be peaceful and she would not feel such stupidity about hurting the girl who managed to find her heart and capture it, like Costia had once done. Maybe ruining the surprise would have been worth it, because the birds are chirping and the sun is high up and the breeze is just right, and Raven is still going on her tangent about love and wooing your significant other.

Lexa closed her eyes and tuned out the sound of Raven’s voice and focused on the way Clarke says her name. 

__

Once they arrived at Mount Weather, Indra, Lincoln, and Octavia, devised a plan that would make their gathering go smoothly and quickly.

“Indra and I will go to agriculture.” Lincoln stated before entering the abandoned basecamp with Indra.

“That leaves engineering for us.” Octavia sighed. She wanted to go to agriculture and look at all the flowers the Mountain Men grew. She turned to look at Clarke who was clearly deep in thought.

“Earth to Clarke? Ha! See what I just did?”

No response.

Octavia blew a raspberry at her friend, “You suck.”

Nothing.

“Ugh!” She groaned.

Not a thing.

She waved her arms in front of Clarke’s face. Clarke blinked rapidly and took a step back as soon as she snapped out of her thoughts.

“Finally! Thought you turned zombie on me for a second.”

“Sorry, O. I just have a lot on my mind.”

“No shit, C. C’mon, The President told me where he kept his art supplies. We can bring some back to camp if you want.”

Clarke smiled. It was a small one but it was still there and that was enough for Octavia to reciprocate the act with her ridiculously huge grin.

The blonde shook her head at how childish her friend was, but that didn’t stop Octavia from skipping into the basecamp.

Clarke jogged after her, shuddering at the memories of first being captured and locked in a decontamination cell, then escaping with Anya, and finally, rescuing her friends and some of the members who didn’t share the same view as President Cage, including the former President himself. She lost Octavia but she knew her way around so it didn’t bother her as much. Once she caught up with her friend, Octavia had already filled up a box with a lot of useless junk.

Clarke picked up a fried wire that seemed to be beyond repairable and held it up to examine it. “Uh, O?”

Octavia’s head peaked out from under a table, a bunch of loose wires in her mouth and spare scraps of metal in both her hands.

Clarke rolled her eyes and help up the fried wire even higher. “I highly doubt Monty, Raven, or even Sinclair can salvage this.” 

Octavia shrugged and made a face at Clarke who threw the wire off to the side. She began rummaging through the box and throwing out some of the trash that Octavia miraculously believed would prove useful to their engineers. For someone so smart, Octavia sure lacked common sense, but Clarke couldn’t help and be amused at her friend’s attempt. Maybe her naïve faith that Raven is a goddess who can bring the dead to life is actually quite remarkable.

After about an hour, the pair had managed to gather three boxes worth of useable materials for Raven. They hoped that they actually got the right materials instead of just junk, but to be fair, they have no idea what any of these things do or what they could be used for. They went here completely blind, but still satisfied at their finding.

“Wanna bring these to the front and then head over to the art supply room?”

Clarke nodded and picked up two of the three boxes laid out on the table. Octavia quickly shook her head and grabbed the top box and placed it on top of the box she was carrying.

“I’m the grounder therefore I’m stronger.” She raised an eyebrow and stuck her tongue out. Thank God Indra wasn’t here or else she would make her train for three days straight if she knew how childish she got without being under her first’s supervision.

Clarke stuck her foot out and tripped Octavia in revenge but it failed when Octavia quickly composed herself back on her solid and sturdy feet.

“Nice try, loser.”

The older of the two groaned and kicked Octavia’s butt on their way out. 

__

Lexa’s head throbbed uncontrollably. She felt around and realized that Raven had thrown her canteen at her head.

“You will pay for this, Raven of the Sky People!”

“Yeah, yeah, save the threats for someone who cares Commando.” She was strapping her brace up and grabbing onto a tree for support.

Lexa rubbed at her forehead, furious and confused as to why Raven would injure her. Before she could even ask, Raven answered.

“You fell asleep and I devised such an elaborate plan for you to win over blondie and you just slept, you asshole.”

Lexa continued rubbing, feeling a large bump begin to form close to her hairline.

“Now my people will see this and think that I am unworthy of being a leader if I injure myself on gathering quest.” She pointed at the barely visible bump.

Raven squinted her eyes, “I don’t see anything, you big baby. Hey at least it’s better than them thinking you’re shit at winning a girl over.”

Raven’s smug look was instantly wiped away when she noticed a hurling canteen aiming straight for her head. She quickly ducked and glared at Lexa. It was Lexa’s turn to be smug and laugh at how angry Raven got.

“Why I ought to …” She charged at Lexa, her crippled leg slowing her down greatly.

Lexa drew her dagger and Raven continued charging at The Commander.

“Go ahead and kill me, nobody will teach you how to paint for Clarke if you do.”

Lexa met Raven’s challenging gaze and she clenched her jaw tight. This lasted for a few seconds until finally, the great and mighty Commander back down and placed her dagger back into its leather holder.

Raven smirked. She knew she won and this proved just how desperate The Commander was for Clarke’s approval and happiness.

“Alright, Commander, lead the way.” 

__

Lincoln and Indra cleaned out the rest of the Mountain Men’s agriculture sector. The next time anybody heads back this way, they won’t need to check that sector for resources; everything will be back at Camp Jaha. The two noticed three boxes of materials at the entrance of the basecamp but no signs of either Octavia or Clarke.

“They’re probably getting more supplies.” Lincoln mentioned.

Indra said nothing; instead, she unclasped her armor and took a seat. She leaned her back against the cool stone opening.

“I never properly thanked you for saving my life the night the missile launched at my village.”

“You don’t have to thank m—”

“You saved my life. You saved me even if I hated you for betraying our people, for becoming a reaper against your will.”

“You would have done the same for me.”

“I don’t know if I would have.”

Lincoln grew silent. A few moments passed before he finally spoke up, “I did what I believed was right.”

“Thank you, Lincoln. You have grown to be a very wise and noble warrior. Your father would have been proud.”

“Thank you, Indra.” He replied in their native Trigedasleng.

__

“Clarke! Check it out!” Octavia motioned for Clarke to hurry over to where she was.

“What is it?” She inquired. 

Octavia rummaged around the trunk, the jars of liquid clanked against one another. “Some sort of paint I think. Maybe pastel?” 

Clarke gasped, “No way! I’ve never painted with pastels before! Octavia I love you!”

She leapt at Octavia and gave her a giant hug. 

“Alright, alright, alright, save it for Lexa.” O wiggled her eyebrows suggestively and Clarke pushed her shoulders, annoyed at Octavia’s lame attempt at a suggestive joke. 

Octavia shut the trunk and locked the two clasps at the front. She picked up the heavy trunk and told Clarke about the box she gathered that’s filled with paper and brushes. Clarke grabbed the box and placed it on top of the box she already had filled with other supplies. 

The two made their way to the entrance of the basecamp and as soon as they came into view, Lincoln and Indra hastily got up to offer help. Once they all piled everything they retrieved from the basecamp, they were looking at a heavy trunk, three boxes of engineering supplies, two boxes of art supplies, and six boxes of agriculture supplies.

Lincoln was the first to speak, “How are we supposed to bring these items back to Camp? Eleven boxes and a trunk cannot be carried by four people.”

“True, but it can be carried by seven.”

Indra, Lincoln, and Octavia drew out their weapons. Octavia wrapped a protective arm around Clarke and stepped in front of her.

Bellamy, Jasper, and Monty appeared from the bushes and the three returned their weapons into their holders.

“A warning would have been nice, bro.” Octavia stated, annoyed that her brother startled them like that.

“Or maybe you should be focused on your surroundings instead of supplies.” Bellamy’s cocky smirk annoyed Octavia even more.

Jasper and Monty on the other hand apologized for startling them.

The seven of them divided the supplies and began making their way back to Camp Jaha. 

__

After half an hour, Raven and Lexa finally reached the dead zone. Just like Lexa mentioned, there were a bunch of buildings buried underground. Raven assumed this place must have been a shopping district of some sort.

Lexa began walking around, analyzing her steps and envisioning their surroundings in her head. She took three steps to the left and two forward. She repeated that a few times before she stopped and wielded her sword. She cut a nearby tree for a strong and thick branch. She returned to where she was, adjusted her body, and then struck at the ground below her. Raven jerked her head towards the location of the startling sound, cracking it in the process.

“Ow,” She groaned, massaging the back of her neck with her palm, “How’d you do that?”

“Practice.”

“Wow, aren’t you the ominous type.”

Lexa ignored her, opened the hatch, and jumped into the dark room. Instead of it being upright allowing her to walk in, the room was toppled over, the entrance at the top instead of the side. She pulled out a flashlight that Abby gave her a few days ago and turned it on. She looked around and realized that this place used to be a store that sold soft and pretty looking items. She sighed, but at the same time, she figured she should at least bring some for the grounder and sky children. 

__

Up on the ground, Raven attempted to copy what Lexa did. She figured it couldn’t be that hard, after all it was just a bunch of swift moves and a smack. She picked up a large enough stick; she danced around and stopped when she believed she’d found a door. She struck the ground with all her might and fell backwards.

“Fuck! My ass!” Raven rolled onto her stomach and began rubbing her butt. She looked at where she landed and noticed a giant rock. She glared at the culprit and continued rubbing her butt. 

Lexa fell over, laughing at Raven’s idiotic move. 

“That was wonderful.” She snickered as she held her stomach that burned from how hard she was laughing at Raven.

“Shut up, Commando.” Raven pushed off the ground and stood up, hobbling a bit until she finally balanced herself.

“Again!” Lexa exclaimed when Raven bent over to pick up the stick.

“I’m gonna hit you with this!”

“Go ahead, it will not stop me from laughing at how ridiculous you were a few seconds earlier.”

Raven gave up and sat down next to Lexa.

“What’d you find?”

Lexa picked up a few of the items she gathered and placed them in front of Raven.

“Oh sweet! Toy Store! The kids are gonna love these back home.”

“What is a toy?”

“These are toys,” Raven explained, holding up a few stuffed animals.

“Oh, that is what they are called?”

Raven nodded, “What do you guys call them?”

“We do not have a name for them. We have a name for doll, but not any for these.”

Raven understood and piled the toys back up. She made a mental note to remember to bring them back.

Lexa got up and performed what Raven considers her voodoo magic, and opened two more doors.

“One for me and one for you.” She explained, holding out her hand for Raven to take. Lexa had noticed that it was hard for Raven to balance herself after she’s been sitting down for a few minutes. She thought about asking Nyko or even Sinclair to help her by making another brace or at least an item that’ll help her get up quickly. Maybe they could even add a weapon to it so that Raven can protect herself if she were to ever be alone, which was highly doubtful because Lexa knows to always order her guards to watch out for Clarke’s friends from a distance. 

__

Raven hobbled into the dark room. She landed on her bad leg and fell to the ground.

“What the? The entrance shouldn’t be at the top? Oh my god, these stores are on their backs.”

She took her flashlight out and examined her surroundings. Hardware store, she thought to herself. She looked around and began gathering tools she knew her and Sinclair would need. She tried to limit herself because one tool may not weigh much, but a couple dozen together would make her trek back home nearly impossible, especially because her knee was aching. She was supposed to go to Abby today to get it checked out, but because Lexa decided they should go adventuring, she forgot. 

__

In her store, Lexa noticed a sign that had the letters G-E-T on it.

“Get?” She spoke to herself.

Lexa walked around and noticed that this place had a lot of blankets and clothing that they can bring back. Especially now that winter in quickly approaching, the blankets are practical for keeping their people warm. She began gathering the materials and she started tossing them up for Raven to collect once she leaves her store.

After about her third trip from the shelf to the opening, she heard a clanking noise. Lexa wielded her sword, her heart racing in her chest. She took a few steps forward, looked around, and took a few more steps. She heard another clang, this time it was on her left side behind a shelf. She took a few hesitant steps towards the shelf when a reaper jumped onto it, knocking Lexa onto the floor. Her sword slid across the floor and the grounder’s weight on top of the shelf’s pinned Lexa immobile.

“Raven!” She screamed a blood-curdling scream, “Raven! Help!”

__

Raven grabbed the last three tools she needed when she heard Lexa’s screams.

“Raven help me!”

“Lexa?!”

“Raven! Reaper!”

Raven ran as fast as she could towards the entrance of the store. It quickly dawned on her that the only reason Lexa surfaced when she jumped into the toy store was because she was strong. Raven tried to jump, but only having one good leg didn’t get her high enough to grab onto the ledge.

“Raven help!”

“Lexa I’m coming! Hold on!”

“Hurry!”

__

Lexa tried her hardest to reach for her sword but it was too far away. The reaper was cackling and trying to gnaw on Lexa through the metal shelf’s openings. Lexa’s entire body with the exception of her right hand was pinned under. She balled her right fist up and swung at the reaper, punching him three times.

“Raven! Hurry!”

Raven looked around the store, pushing her hair back away from her face.

“Shit. Okay. Ladder, ladder, ladder, I need a ladder.” She paced the store. “Come on, ladder where are you.”

She stopped as soon as she spotted a single ladder towards the back of the store. She ran to it as fast as she could. She grabbed the ladder and rushed back toward the opening.

“Lexa I’m coming! I have a ladder!”

“Raven!" 

“Lexa hold on! Just give me a minute!”

“Raven!” 

Raven pushed the ladder up against the opening of the store. She started climbing when she heard creaking coming from the door of the store. Does it even qualify as a door anymore? Probably not. The latch creaked and once Raven got halfway up, the latch slammed shut. 

__

Lexa heard a loud thud. 

“Raven?!” 

__

Raven couldn’t hear anything but her own heavy breathing.

“Lexa?!”

__

Lexa didn’t hear a response.

Tears were threatening to spill down her cheeks.

“Raven.” She called out, her voice faint and weak. 

__

Raven continued until she reached the latch. She pushed up against it with everything she had but it was tightly shut. 

“Fuck! Lexa! Can you hear me?!” 

__

Lexa was trying her hardest to maintain a distance between her and the reaper, but her right arm was aching. She balled her fist once more and punched the reaper’s face five times. The reaper didn’t budge, he only grew angrier at Lexa.

“Raven. Help.”

__

Raven banged on the latch, even punching it until she felt hot liquid drip down her arm.

“Lexa?! Can you hear me?!”

Nothing.

__

Lexa tried to free her left arm but she couldn’t with the combined weight of the reaper and the shelf on it. If she could only free her left arm, then she would be able to push the shelf off enough so that her sword was within reach. 

She took two deep breaths, as deep as she could with her lungs being blocked by one of the shelf’s levels. She used her left shoulder to push the shelf as far as she could, which wasn’t much. It wasn’t enough to free her arm so she decided to try again. She took another deep breath and screamed, using her entire body to free her left arm. 

__

Raven dropped down and landed on her bad leg once again but it didn’t stop her from looking around for a sledgehammer or even a drill and some batteries. She assumed that the latch was four inches deep so she looked for a drill that was at least six inches.

__

Lexa screamed and pulled her arm until it popped out of her shoulder’s socket. The pain was excruciating and unbearable but it did the job. The reaper looked startled when Lexa began pushing the shelf off of her. Her shoulder was killing her and the more she pushed, the more she can hear her bone crunching and popping.

__

Raven found a six-inch drill and the batteries that it required. She hobbled over to the ladder, her left leg possibly broken in fragments at the amount of damage it’s taken but she didn’t care. She fought through the pain and clenched her teeth around a rag she brought with her. She climbed up the ladder and began drilling the first out of twelve holes that will eventually form a circle for her to get out of. 

__

Lexa adjusted her body so that her right arm was closer to the sword and she counted to three before letting the shelf and the reaper slam back onto her. Her lungs burned and she was sure she had a broken rib cage but she never lost focus so she began reaching for her sword.

__

Raven managed to drill all twelve of the holes and now she was back on the ground searching for an electric saw. She knew it was a long run but she drilled the holes so that if the saw can just penetrate through one, it’ll automatically follow the pattern and go around in a circle. 

“Please work. Please work. Please work.” 

She found an eighteen-volt cordless variable speed-reciprocating saw that had a small enough saw blade that could possibly cut her circle.

__

Lexa grunted, the weight of the shelf and the reaper along with her broken ribs and dislocated shoulder made reaching for her sword painfully difficult. She reached, and reached, and reached, and reached until her hand felt the handle of her sword. In one swift motion, she stabbed it through the reaper’s neck. 

Lexa let out a sigh of relief that was cut short the moment she realized Raven could be in danger.

She pushed the shelf and the dead reaper high enough so that she could snake her way out from underneath them. Once freed, she staggered over to the entrance. She looked up at the opening a few feet above her head and jumped. She landed on her feet and the pressure that built up in her torso burned its way through her entire body. There was no way she was getting out on her own.

__

Raven pressed half of the saw blade into one of the holes she drilled. She turned it on and closed her eyes so that bits of metal wouldn’t enter them. Thankfully, the blade sawed through into the next hole. Once Raven felt the saw jerk forward she knew it was working.

“I’m a fucking genius.”

__

Lexa looked around and noticed that the reaper had a grappling hook across his shoulder. With her right hand, she loosened it from his body. She tugged on the rope while simultaneously pushing the reaper away with her foot. Once freed, she threw the end with the hook outside and prayed to the gods that it would latch onto something. 

“Please.”

She waited and when it didn’t hit anything aside from the ground, she drew it back carefully; making sure it didn’t decapitate her on its way down.

“Please.”

She threw the hook outside again, hoping with all of her might that it’ll latch onto something. 

__

The seven arrived back at Camp Jaha before the sun began setting. They brought back their harvest inside Alpha Station where Abby and Kane happily greeted them. 

“Where’s Raven?” Clarke asked, “She’s gonna love what we brought for her.”

Octavia met Abby’s gaze. Clarke repeated her question and Abby explained how Lexa and Raven went out earlier in the day and they still haven’t returned.

“Wait? Lexa’s out there? Alone?”

“Well, not alone, Raven’s with her honey.”

“Mom, where did they go?”

“I don’t know. They didn’t tell me.”

“The sun’s about to set and there’s no way Lexa would stay out this late. She knows it’s too dangerous.”

“I know, but maybe they’re both on their way back.”

“Bellamy, let’s go.” 

“Clarke no!” Abby was not about to let her daughter enter the woods at this time of the night.

“Mom, Lexa and Raven are out there. We need to find them.”

Clarke grabbed Bellamy’s arm and began walking when Indra, Lincoln, and Octavia stepped between her and the gate to the camp.

“What are you guys doing?”

“Commander’s orders. Sorry Clarke but she doesn’t want you out at night.” Octavia felt guilty for constraining her friend, but The Commander’s orders are final word.

__

Raven sawed halfway through the printed circle. She stopped momentarily to check on how much further she needed to go. She store was starting to get heat up from the lack of ventilation and Raven was starting to really feel it. She turned the saw back on and hoped that it wouldn’t take as long to saw through the rest.

__

The grapple hook latched onto something and Lexa tested the sturdiness of the rope. Once satisfied, she began climbing up. First with one hand, but then that quickly proved to be too difficult of a taste. Although it was going to hurt with both hands, she knew there was no other way. She clenched her jaw and began climbing up the rope. She could feel the hook start to loosen around whatever it latched on so she quickened her pace. 

__

Raven was nearly there, only four more holes to drill through and she’ll be out to help Lexa.

Three.

Two. 

__

Just a few more seconds and Lexa will have freed herself from what would have been an untimely death. Just a few more pulls. 

Three.

Two. 

__

Raven heard the saw go through the last hole and as soon as it did, she instantly felt the weight of the circle she cut off the latch on her shoulders. She pushed it through and scrambled to climb out.

__

Lexa reached the top of the entranceway and rolled over onto her back as soon as she reached the ground. 

“Lexa?”

__

It was pitch-black and Raven couldn’t tell if the figure moving in the dark was Lexa or something she should fear. Actually, she fears Lexa so it didn’t really matter what the figure was but as soon as Lexa replied, Raven clambered over to make sure Lexa was okay.

“What happened?! You were screaming and then my latch locked me out so I had to drill through and –” Raven was cut off by Lexa’s groans.

“Are you ok—Oh my God Lexa we need to get you to Abby right now!”

The Commander pointed at a stack by her feet and Raven spotted a pile of blankets and clothes. Raven crawled over and tore one of the uglier looking shirts up into a makeshift sling for Lexa’s shoulder. She wrapped it around her shoulder as tight as she could possibly get it so that Lexa’s shoulder wouldn’t move around on their way back to camp. She stopped whenever Lexa screamed in pain, but she knew that this had to be done.

“Dude, I know you want to be the hero and everything, but you’re not gonna be the hero for long if we don’t get you to Abby or Nyko.”

Lexa rolled over and pushed off the ground with her right arm. She grabbed the stick she used earlier and tied one of the blankets on both ends.

Raven caught on pretty quick and so she began piling the toys, the blankets, and the clothes inside.

Lexa smiled and struggled to stand up with the stick on her right shoulder.

Raven tried her best to balance out the weight of the makeshift holder but the two didn’t pack it very well. Nevertheless, they began walking and Lexa laughed as soon as she noticed that her grappling hook latched onto the rock that bruised Raven’s bottom.

Raven took note but decided to ask The Commander why she found a rock hilarious when she’s not battered and bruised. Her gaze never left the rock, which is why she tripped on something buried in the ground.

Lexa fell backwards; the weight of the entire load on her shoulder was too much for her body at its fragile state.

Raven brushed away the fallen leaves and the loose dirt in attempt to find the source of her fall.

It was another latch.

Lexa looked up at Raven who frowned at her Commander’s weak state.

“We came here to find art supplies for you and I will not go back until we have some. This is important to you, Commander; therefore it’s important to me as well. Face it, one of these stores have bound to be an art one.”

Lexa couldn’t bring herself to talk; instead she kicked the hook deeper into the rock before opening the latch with her decent hand.

Raven turned on her flashlight and lowered herself into the store. She closed her eyes in elation when she noticed that her instincts were right, it is an art store.

“We struck gold, Commander!” 

Lexa smiled, she for one was glad that after all of this they can finally return home.

Five minutes had passed and The Commander had begun to doze off when she felt a tug on the rope. She crawled over to the opening and helped Raven carry the materials. Once they managed to bring the materials up, Raven soon followed. 

__

Clarke paced around the perimeter of the camp. It has been two hours since her return and Lexa was still nowhere to be found. She was angry with everybody. Angry at her mother for not supplying The Commander with guards. Angry at Indra, Lincoln, and Octavia for preventing her from leaving. Heck, she was even angry at herself for not calling this. But most of all, she was angry with Lexa for preaching rules she never adhered to. 

__

To say that Raven was afraid of the woods at night would be the understatement of the century. She wasn’t afraid, she was mortified. It was pitch black even with their flashlights on. The woods was too dense for their measly lights, but she was still thankful for them because they lit up the pathway back to Camp Jaha.

She tried her best to carry more of the load’s weight on her shoulder, she wasn’t sure of the full extent of Lexa’s injuries and she didn’t want her straining anything, or worse, further injuring herself.

The two walked in complete silence. Lexa preferred it that way, of course Raven would have rather talked the entire way back but she decided to give Lexa this time to herself. The poor girl was already injured; she didn’t need to burst her eardrums as well.

__

It took them four hours to return home, but Raven knew it felt longer than that. She started thinking about the camp and how everybody is probably asleep, warm and comfortable in their beds. She started thinking about her own bed, how it had a stupid train pattern because it was the only one available that day. She knew she should have waited for another day because Monty ended up getting one with cowboys and Raven thought his sheets were cooler.

Raven started thinking about her parents, about her mom and her addiction that caused her to lose her daily rations. She thought about Finn, how he was the only person that truly understood her, that truly cared for her and believed in her. She thought about how he’s gone and how he didn’t even bother telling Clarke that he was with someone when they canoodled. She hated Finn and a part of her was glad that he was dead. Harsh. 

__

Lexa’s thoughts wondered between Costia and Clarke. She smiled to herself at how even the universe found it amusing to give her two loves names that began with the same letter. She knew Costia would always be her first love, but Raven’s words resided in her mind and perhaps it wouldn’t be such a bad idea to love another. Clarke’s different though. She’s independent and headstrong, unlike Costia. She doesn’t know if she could win her over. Maybe she’s still in love with Finn. Maybe she was in love with someone else up at The Ark and failed to mention in. There are too many different paths they could go down on and Lexa feared that despite her taking the path opposite of the one she took with Costia, the new one will lead to where the old ended. She didn’t want to lose Clarke. She doesn’t believe that she could ever recover if she ever lost Clarke. This thought frightened her because what if she loves Clarke more than Costia?

Her head was spinning with all of these thoughts and Raven took notice. The older girl offered a chance for them to rest but Lexa refused. They had to go home. They had to let Clarke know they were okay. 

__

Nearly everybody at camp was asleep. Lincoln and Octavia stayed with Clarke by the entrance of Alpha Station. Monty, Jasper, and Bellamy left five minutes ago with apologies about being unable to stay up any further. Clarke understood and thanked her friends for waiting with her for as long as they can. Her two grounders however, were more disciplined therefore they are able to fight the urges to sleep each time they come around. Indra left around the same time Monty and them did, but instead of heading to bed, she patrolled around the woods. She assured Clarke that if she spots The Commander and Raven, she would be the first to know, despite the distance between The Commander and Camp Jaha.

Clarke felt cruel for mostly caring about Lexa. Sure she cared about Raven’s safety as well but she wasn’t in love with Raven. Wait? In love? Clarke’s in love with Lexa? 

Clarke shook her head to clear the thoughts away.

“Octavia?”

Octavia blinked slowly, her eyes trying their best to focus on Clarke.

“Yeah Clarke?”

“Do you think she’ll make it?”

Octavia offered a sleepy smile, “She’s Lexa, she can survive anything.”

__

“Raven?”

“Yeah, Commado?”

Lexa closed her eyes in relief, Raven was still with her and she was still her humorous self.

“We’re here.”

Raven peeked to the side and caught a glimpse of the camp through the trees.

“Lexa?”

“I am still your Commander.”

“Lexa?” Raven repeated, not caring about titles at this point.

“Yes?”

“Thank you for saving me.”

Lexa paused her steps. She tried her best to catch a sight of Raven.

“It is I who should be thanking you. You finished our mission.” 

Raven couldn’t help but grin. Lexa was right, she was the one that gathered the art supplies but she doesn’t think she would have survived without her Commander.

“I still want to thank you for being here with me. Don’t know how I would have done it without you. Probably wouldn’t have, but you know, gotta give myself some credit.”

__

Indra was about to return to the camp when she heard voices behind the trees. She readied her dagger and crept up to the source of the voices. 

“Heda?”

Lexa looked up at Indra and smiled.

“Heda you had us worried sick at camp! Clarke has not slept yet, she is waiting for your return.”

“Then she shall fall into slumber soon for I have returned.”

She lowered the stick onto the floor and flinched when her shoulder moved and her ribs cracked. 

“Heda you are injured! Let me assist you to our healer!”

Lexa raised her hand and pointed to their materials, “Have a guard place this in my chambers. It is to be kept hidden from Clarke, am I understood?” 

Indra straightened her back, “Yes, Heda.”

She whistled and two guards immediately came running towards them.

“Bring this to Heda’s hut.”

The three made their way down the hill towards the entrance of the camp.

Clarke recognized Indra but her eyes were so sleepy she didn’t realize that Raven and Lexa were behind her.

“Clarke, Lexa’s back!” Octavia beamed with happiness.

“Lexa?” Clarke squinted, “Lexa!”

She ran as fast as her tired legs could carry her and enveloped Lexa into a hug. She felt Lexa flinch beneath her.

“Lexa you’re hurt!”

“I’m hurt too, ya know.” Raven beamed in, poking fun at Clarke’s concern for Lexa.

“Come here!” She hugged Raven.

Octavia carried Raven and Lincoln guided her to the infirmary.

“Do you want me to carry you?” Clarke asked Lexa. The light hit Lexa’s body for the first time since her arrival and it was only then that Clarke realized how ragged her body was.

Before Lexa could answer, Clarke swooped her up and followed behind Octavia and Lincoln.

“You’re safe now. I won’t let anything hurt you ever again. I promise.”

Lexa tried her hardest to smile but her body was so exhausted that she couldn’t help but drift off into sleep.


	6. A Dark World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Octavia lashes out and Raven keeps a secret from the others.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! So this chapter is a little over 3k words. I was aiming for 5k, which is half of what the last chapter was, but I've been so tired lately and so I couldn't reach my goal :/. I've decided to cut back on the update schedule because I've been really feeling the stress of the update deadlines (which I put upon myself thinking I could handle it). Instead of Monday, Wednesday, and Friday updates, I'll stick to writing 10k chapters and updating it on Mondays only. Another reason for this is because I have another fic in progress which hopefully you guys will like! That one I will post this Friday and update it every Friday. I'm really sorry for cutting back drastically :/ I just couldn't handle the pressure especially with being relatively new to writing. I hope you guys understand skdjfhsdkfh :/

The Commander woke up but kept her eyes shut upon hearing multiple voices surrounding her. She identified six: Clarke, Abby, Jackson, Raven, Indra, and Octavia. She was surprised when she could not hear Nyko, but she remembered that winter is arriving and he had to care for the Grounders that got infected with what the Sky People called “the common cold.”

“Mom is she gonna be okay?”

Clarke felt helpless. Her mother would not let her aid in Lexa’s recovery because her emotions were off the charts and Abby did not want her doing something illogical or drastic. It was the case with many doctors and nurses on The Ark, there were rules against treating and prescribing medication to their families because they were too emotionally invested to think rationally. The same goes to Clarke, who had been pacing around the room for what seemed like hours.

“She won’t be if you keep pacing around like that. Jackson, please escort my daughter outside where family and friends are supposed to wait for the patient. She’s proving to be a huge distraction.”

Jackson look mortified. Did Abby really believe he could handle a feisty Clarke on his own? He walked over to Clarke and grabbed her arm, but she instantly pulled away.

“I’m not leaving and you can’t make me.”

Jackson looked over at Abby who was concentrating on Lexa.

“Clarke, please. For Lexa’s sake.” Jackson whispered.

“No! I already can’t do anything, you can’t just expect me to sit outside and wait. Are you guys insane?” Clarke was beyond frustrated at her mother. How could she do this to her?

Jackson tried to escort Clarke once again but to no avail.

“I’ll take her.” Raven surmised. Jackson shrugged his shoulders; he could not care less about to takes Clarke outside but it sure as hell was not going to be him if Clarke was this uncooperative.

“No. You’re injured and Jackson has to run more tests. You’re staying.” Abby’s voice was stern and commanding. Raven cowered back into her seat, not wanting to be on the receiving end of whatever wrath is boiling up in The Chancellor’s head.

“Sorry Clarke, kinda wanna keep my leg even if it’s a lost cause and uh,” She shifted her body so that Abby couldn’t see Raven pointing at her. She continued in a hushed tone, “If she’s pissed, she’ll more than likely be in the chopping mood.”

“I heard that.”

Clarke sighed. None of this was fair. She’s the leader of the Sky People despite her mother being Chancellor. Lexa is her equal and she should never have to leave her equal’s side, a realization that dawned on her when they were foraging for supplies at Mount Weather. Lexa and her were equals, neither one was more superior than the other.

Octavia stepped forward and concluded the discussion, “I’ll take her.”

She walked around Indra and grabbed Clarke’s arm forcefully, not flinching or wavering when Clarke objected to the brute force.

“Not now, Princess.”

* * *

The door shut behind them and locked closed. Clarke shook out of Octavia’s tight grip.

“What the hell, O?!”

Octavia clenched her jaw.

“Clarke, you’re not the only one terrified about Lexa’s conditions okay? I am too! So is Indra. Lincoln, Jasper, Monty, Bellamy and the others are worried too. You’re not the only one afraid to lose her. So stop being like this because not only is it distracting Abby from actually saving Lexa, but it’s making you look like an inadequate leader. How else is your mother supposed to trust that you’re capable of leading her people when you can’t even compose yourself when something happens to one of them?”

Clarke couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She was frustrated and angry, mostly annoyed but none of it could compare to how betrayed she felt at that very moment.

“You know what? Screw you, Octavia. You were one of us before you were one of them. You should be answering to me, not her. Just because you’re _skai kru_ turned Grounder, you think you’re better than everybody else.”

Octavia was infuriated.

“This has _nothing_ to do with be feeling like I finally belong somewhere. Sixteen years Clarke! I was hidden for sixteen years under the fucking floorboards of a fucking space station. I didn’t have friends like you, I didn’t have freedom like you; I had nothing! Now I have friends, I have freedom; I have something to fight for. I have my people. Not just the Grounders, but also the Sky Peoplebecause for once I thought that there was finally peace with both clans. I thought that there were neither they nor we; I thought there were only us. So get off your high horse, your majesty and get your head out of your ass because unlike you, I don’t think I’m better than everybody else just because The Commander has feelings for me.”

Octavia turned around and began walking down the hallway leading towards the exit of Alpha Station. She did not bother sticking around to listen to whatever Clarke had to say because as of right now, her friend is not herself. She knows that although Clarke crossed the line, she didn’t have to follow, but she was just as concerned as Clarke about Lexa. But for Clarke to bring up what a majority of camp has been saying, about her betraying them for the grounders, it struck the wrong chord that night.

Both Grounders and Sky People were supposed to live harmoniously, and they do. They treat each other equally and all is well but not for Octavia. She doesn’t understand why they couldn’t comprehend her wanting to become closer to the Grounders. They alienated her for sixteen years. They don’t get to tell her how to live out the rest of her life.

The cold wind felt amazing on her hot skin. The redness that consumed nearly every inch of her body from anger suddenly disappeared. Octavia took a few deep breaths and decided it would be best to stay occupied. Someone would find her and inform her about The Commander’s status as soon as possible. She knew that if she stayed idle, that her worry would only grow and she can’t bring herself to become distracted, not when her people need her to be alert and focused.

The patrol guards wondered why someone was out and about at such an ungodly hour, but as soon as they recognized that it was Octavia, they dismissed the girl and continued on with their duty.

* * *

Clarke stood in front of the infirmary, shocked. She knew that some of the Sky People were calling Octavia a betrayer, but she didn’t know that it affected her friend as much as it did. She tried to recall any moment when Octavia wasn’t her happy go lucky self, but she can’t remember any. Even when Octavia was in her focused Grounder state, she was still Octavia. For her friend to bottle up emotions and not share them with others must have been a difficult task, especially because Octavia was never one to bite her tongue. She had noticed, however, that she spent a majority of her time talking to Lincoln. Maybe Lincoln was able to help her release some of the unruly feelings she felt, especially because his own people once considered him a traitor.

She felt terrible. Terrible for bringing up something that she should never have spoken about. Terrible for acting like a complete, for the lack of a better word, bitch. She knew she should apologize but she figured it would be a better apology if she had some good news to bring along with her. So she stayed. She sat down on an empty bench across from the door to the infirmary. There she waited for what felt like a century.

* * *

It was Raven’s turn to be examined by Jackson. Abby was doing a procedure that only required one doctor and so he was free to check on Alpha Station’s best mechanic. Of course he would never let Sinclair know about his opinions.

“Alright, Raven. Let me see her.”

Raven put down the medical instrument she was holding and turned to face Jackson. She unstrapped the brace that Wick made for her and let Jackson examine her leg.

“I was actually gonna ask Abby if she can check on it earlier today because my knee has been aching more than usual.”

“Why didn’t you?” Abby questioned, her eyes never leaving her suturing.

“Lexa kinda tagged me along, but no biggie, I mean I still ended up here didn’t I?”

She looked at Jackson with a smile but the look on his face wasn’t one of amusement but one of worry.

“Abby, she has multiple simple fractures along her Femur, Tibia, and Fibula.”

“Simple? That’s good right?” Raven asked, her question thrown in the air, not aimed for any particular person.

“Not necessarily.” Jackson began, “The one on your Femur almost became a compound fracture, it could have lacerated your Femoral Artery.”

Raven had no idea what Jackson was saying but from the looks of things he’s really concerned.

“Well it’s a good thing it isn’t right?” Raven joked. Can’t blame the girl, it’s her defense mechanism.

“Raven you could have died.” Jackson bluntly stated there being no easy way to explain to his patient about the intensity of the situation.

“But I didn’t—”

“Raven cut it out. You already lost your leg once, no need to lose it permanently.” Abby finished the last suture on Lexa and walked over to where Jackson was with Raven.

Lexa could still hear the conversations they were all having. She endured the pain of being sutured without anesthetics but she couldn’t let the others know she was awake. Although Indra didn’t say a word, she knew her chief was right there with her. The Commander felt guilty for dragging Raven along. She knew she was already injured and now because of her, her leg is far away from recovering if recovery was still possible. She knew she had to make it up to the engineer one way or another.

* * *

Lincoln was perched up on a nearby tree stump watching his girlfriend walk around the perimeter of the camp. He sighed knowing that this was going to be harder to fix than their other problems, but he knew Octavia and he knew that sooner or later, she’d be better again. He just hoped that nothing changed between her and Clarke’s relationship. Ever since their rescue mission at Mount Weather, Octavia’s confided in Clarke whenever she needed to discuss something girl-related that Lincoln wasn’t allowed to be in on. He would hate for that to just disappear over miscommunication.

“Lincoln?”

Indra’s voice nearly gave him a heart attack. Camp Jaha has proven itself to be highly secured so whenever the Grounders are at camp, they tend to let their guards down. 

“Indra, you startled me.”

“I apologize.” She took off her armor and sat beside him. They both looked over at Octavia who was now headed in their direction. Indra sighed, she was hoping to talk to Lincoln about their village and possibly combining both Ton DC and Camp Jaha. She had overheard Octavia and Clarke fight earlier so she assumed her second would not be in the position to think rationally about plans. Of course if Octavia knew her mentor and boyfriend felt that way, not only would she be angry with them, but she’d also avoid speaking with them and Indra cannot let that happen, not when Octavia was making great progress with her training.

“She’s so annoying. She thinks just because she’s one of the leaders that she’s better than everybody else. Nobody even elected her to become the leader; she placed herself in that position. Besides, the Sky People don’t need two leaders.”

Indra and Lincoln grew quiet, afraid if they spoke a word out of place that Octavia would lash out on them and they didn’t need the rest of the camp to waking to her loud screaming. 

Octavia was waiting for either of her mentors to say a word, but when both grew even more silent than usual, she grumbled. If they weren’t going to take her side, then she would not grace them with her presence.

Octavia marched off, her foot stomping the ground unreasonably hard. That was it. That was the last straw. She was going to bed and forget about everybody and everything until later on in the morning. It was late, she was grumpy, and Lexa’s still unconscious. Grounders were patrolling the camp; she wasn’t needed, at least not yet. Before Lincoln or Indra could warn her about Clarke’s incoming presence, she was already halfway to her and Indra’s hut.

Clarke came to a halt, turning her attention from Octavia to the two Grounders sitting down.

“She’s pissed isn’t she?”

Lincoln nodded and Indra replied, “I am afraid so. She is very _pissed_.”

Clarke looked up fast enough to catch a glimpse of her friend retreating to her hut.

* * *

Lexa was finally alone. She slowly opened her eyes, trying to get them to adjust to the bright lights without causing a headache with the sudden intensity of it all. She moved slightly to the right, causing the makeshift bed squeak a little.

“Lexa?” Raven called out behind a curtain.

So much for being alone.

“Yeah?” Lexa replied, her voice eliciting a sound that was half hoarse and half tired.

“Oh thank God you’re alive." 

Raven flung her head back against her pillow. Lexa was safe and alive! All is well in the world once again. Suddenly she jerked up and retracted the curtain separating the two.

“I need to get Clarke!”

Lexa hastily got up, as fast as she could with her broken ribs and shoulder.

“No!" 

“No?”

“No. Clarke needs to rest and if she knows that I am awake, she will not sleep until she has convinced herself that no harm shall come to me. After what happened, I do not believe she will ever be able to convince herself of that anymore.”

Raven understood where Lexa was coming from but at the same time Clarke was probably freaking out with all of this waiting.

“But don’t you want her to know that you’re alive? I mean, you took a pretty nasty hit.” 

Lexa brushed her injury off, “Eh, it was far from my heart. I would not have died.”

“Lexa what are you talking about your shoulder and your rib cage are literally close to your heart. I on the other hand,” She smacked her left leg, “sustained an injury so far from my heart that I don’t think blood even circulates around here anymore.”

Lexa laughed a hearty laugh. It was deeper than her others ones, but only because she had not spoken in a while and her vocal chords were still a bit rusty. She had heard Abby being highly concerned about Raven’s injury but she didn’t want the engineer to know that she had been awake this whole time. So she laughed it off because that’s what Raven did. 

The two were silent. The only noises that could be heard from the infirmary were the medical equipment and the lights humming deafeningly through the silence. Raven and Lexa’s beds would occasionally squeak whenever they shifted their bodies in order to become more comfortable.

“Raven?”

Raven’s eyes were closed, her body was exhausted but her mind was still awake.

“Hmm?” 

“The art supplies?”

“They’re safe in your hut, Heda.” Even in a groggy state, Raven was still able to tease The Commander.

Lexa couldn’t help but smile at how ridiculous Raven could be sometimes, “And Clarke does no know about anything, correct?”

“Correctomundo, Commando.”

Lexa closed her eyes, “Good.” 

The two were falling into a deep slumber with both their minds begging their bodies to stay awake. However, their heads gave in and they fell into a blissful sleep. Raven’s snores could probably be heard through the entire Alpha Station, it was astounding how Lexa managed to stay asleep.

* * *

The sun rose just like it did every other day, but today something felt off. Nothing felt right and Clarke couldn’t place a finger on it. Her mother told her that as soon as Lexa had awakened, that she would fetch for her. Instead of fueling the severe worry that Clarke had whenever she was near the infirmary, the blonde decided that it would be best if she steered clear of that area until Abby came.

She slept, but not very well and not for long. She couldn’t stop thinking about Lexa and how she was. She thought about what could have happened and she formulated nearly three hundred questions to ask about how her two idiots managed to get themselves brutally injured. Although she wasn’t as angry as she was last night, she still wanted to blame something or someone because she knows that if she doesn’t, she’ll end up blaming herself.

She let Lexa go out on an adventure with Raven without her or another person to protect the two. It didn’t matter if Lexa was the best warrior their clan has, Clarke knows that sometimes when she’s distracted, she’s prone to limitless injuries.

Clarke paced around her room; not feeling very hungry even after Jackson brought her some food for breakfast. She just wanted to be alone with her thoughts. No she didn’t. She wanted to be with Lexa. She wanted to hold her friend and tell her that everything would be okay. She wanted to see Lexa smile and she wanted to hear her laugh. That saying about never knowing what you have until it’s gone is annoying accurate for her right now. But she appreciates Lexa, admires her even. She knows what she has, but right now, she hates all of the moments she took for granted assuming that there were a thousand more to come.

* * *

 “Jackson what happened?!”

Abby walked into the infirmary and the first thing she saw was Jackson leaning over Lexa’s body, performing CPR on The Commander. She rushed over and took over for Jackson.

“How long has she been gone?”

“Minute and a half.”

Abby cursed under her breath while pressing down on Lexa’s chest.

“Come on Commander, don’t do this to me.”

Lexa lay idle on the table, her body only moving whenever Abby pressed the heel of her palm over her heart.

Raven was on her bed asking a million questions that were going unanswered.

Jackson checked Lexa’s vitals for any sort of explanation for her crash.

Raven finally got off of her bed and hobbled over to Jackson. 

“Raven, please get back on your bed.”

“No, I want to help.” 

“There’s nothing you can do. There’s nothing I can do. I can’t figure out why she crashed.” Jackson was flipping through four different charts, trying to locate the source of Lexa’s crash. 

“She was awake.” 

Both Abby and Jackson’s heads jerked up.

“What?!” 

“Raven, what are you talking about?” Abby kept pressing down on Lexa’s chest. 

Jackson and Abby were asking her ten questions per second and she didn’t know how to respond. Everything around her grew dark and even at the speed of which Jackson and Abby were working, Raven felt like the entire world slowed down. 

“She was awake.” She repeated, more to herself than the two adults, “She was awake.”

She looked at Lexa’s lifeless body. How could everything have gone so wrong in a short amount of time? She heard Jackson and Abby desperately trying to pride answers from her, but she couldn’t do anything. Her body felt numb and her eyes wouldn’t leave Lexa’s body, even after Jackson had waved his hands in front of her. The world felt like it slowed down to a slow crawl and Raven didn’t know what to do.

She didn’t know what to think. She didn’t know what to say.

Everything was dark. Everything slowed down. 

“She was awake.” She slurred.

The world grew darker or her eyelids shut, but moments later, Raven’s body fell unconscious onto the floor of the infirmary.


	7. A New Beginning?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jealousy is an ugly green monster.

The clock bolted on the wall ticked ever so slowly, slower than usual Raven noted, but the ticks were consistent. Consistency was something the Sky People took for granted on The Ark. They had a routine, every single one of them. Except for Octavia because people didn’t know about her, but once they did, even she had a routine. Some found it helpful, especially those with disorders that caused them to panic whenever something was slightly out of place. It was nice to have an itinerary because one knew where they had to be every second of the day. It was orderly. Even Raven, being the independent firecracker that she is, grew to love her schedule. She had enough free time every single day that it didn’t bother her much when a good amount of her day had been predetermined for her. She listened to the steady rhythm of the clock. _Tick, Tock. Tick, Tock._ _Tick, Tock._

As she regained consciousness, Raven noticed the other details around her. She tried to open her eyes, but they were heavy and the simple task proved to be extremely difficult. The machines that had slowly hummed previously were now erratic. The more Raven awoken, the louder the machines blared in her ears. She tried to move as soon as she felt the early signs of a headache. Her head was pounding – she had no control of her body. She blinked slowly. She blinked again. The bright lights were not helping with the situation. She blinked once more. The clock ticked faster and faster. The more Raven blinked, the faster the clock’s ticks got. She closed her eyes, longing for the slow ticks to return.

She opened her eyes, this time they adjusted fairly quickly to the lights. She was thankful for that. Her head was clouded and pounding. She wanted to make it stop. She would do anything to make it stop. Raven tried to speak, but her voice was too hoarse for anything she’d say to make sense. She blinked. Now she was awake. Now she was aware.

The palm of Abby’s hand pressed against Lexa’s chest.

“Dammit, Lexa. Wake up!”

Jackson was searching frantically through all of Lexa’s lab results and charts. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, but at the speed he was looking through them, he was bound to miss something important.

Raven felt something attached to her Antecubital fossa. She slowly lifted her left hand, still weak from everything that’s happened so far, and traced the foreign object lodged inside her inner elbow. It was an IV. Raven has watched enough movies on The Ark to understand that she should not pull it out like they do in the movies when the patients first wake up. It’s disgusting and the only that’s going to happen is she’s going to be grossed out. There’s nothing beneficial of ripping out her IV so instead, she opted for trying to capture Jackson’s attention.

She tried to speak, but nothing came out. She sighed before trying again, “J-Jackson.” She managed to croak out weakly.

Abby and Jackson both looked at Raven.

“Raven! Thank God you’re awake! How long ago was Lexa awake? You were saying something about her being awake and then you blacked out.”

Jackson seemed like he speaking a million words per minute and it was hard for Raven to focus on the sentences he’s trying to communicate with her. She closed her eyes. Why was everything moving at such a fast pace? She wanted the world to stop. Heck, she’d even settle for it slowing down momentarily.

“She. Woke. Up. And. Said. She. Didn’t. Want. Me. To. Wake. Anybody. Up.”

It took a while but Raven finally managed to answer one of the many questions Jackson and Abby were throwing her way. She desperately wanted to help but it seemed impossible with her bedridden and her head feeling like it’s splitting in half. She opened her eyes and was greeted by Jackson’s figure hovering over her bedside.

“Raven, I need you to think back to when you and Lexa were out foraging. Do you remember anything that happened that could have caused other harm to Lexa? Aside from the ones we already know?”

Raven tried her hardest to remember how they were both inside separate rooms. It was fine one minute and before she knew it, Lexa was screaming for her help. All Raven knew was that Lexa was crushed by a shelving unit and a reaper. That means Lexa was either on the floor of on top of something. If she was on the floor, Raven doesn’t know what else could have injured her. But, if she was on top of something, she could have gotten injured that way.

The truth was that when Lexa was knocked over, her back scraped onto corroded metal. As the two slowly made their way back to camp, the wound closed itself up with a scab.

“Infection!” Raven beamed, “What if she has an infection? Did you check her back to see if there are any scratches?” 

Raven was wide-awake at this point. She continued trying to remember bits and pieces of their escapade, hoping that something she remembers would help Abby and Jackson.

“That doesn’t make sense though, her white blood count would have risen.” Jackson tried to explain to Abby.

“It doesn’t matter, help me roll her over and then check her back for anything.”

Jackson did as he was told and rushed over to Lexa. He stood opposite of Abby, pushing Lexa on her left side and Abby pulled. He lifted Lexa’s shirt, cringing when he saw multiple scar tissue across her back.

“What is it?” Abby questioned when Jackson made a face.

“Her markings. They’re making it hard to determine which is fresh and which isn’t.”

“Let me try.” Raven chimed in. She didn’t want to feel useless anymore, especially not when they were so close to saving Lexa 

“Jackson, I need you to hurry, she’s been under for too long I don’t know if I can bring her back.”

Jackson hurried and used his fingers to trace Lexa’s back, feeling for any signs of fresh wound. Raven left her bed and dragged her IV pole. She pushed Jackson aside with her hips, but ended up injuring herself because she’s too fragile at this point to really do anything physical. She looked at Lexa’s back and noticed one scar that was a bit off.

“It’s that one! Jackson look, you see the one towards her lower back?” She pointed at the scab and Jackson confirmed.

“Abby, we found the culprit.” 

Although Abby wanted to be relieved, she knew that she wouldn’t be able to relax until Lexa was breathing and alive.

“Jackson start her on some antibiotics and push ten cc of epi. Raven charge the paddles to 300.”

“300?” Jackson interjected.

“300.”

“Uhm, Abby, I don’t know how to do that.”

“Damn it. Okay, I’ll walk you through—”

“Raven, here. Just inject this into here and I’ll deal with the paddles.”

Raven nodded and grabbed the syringe from Jackson. She located the small red dot that Jackson indicated earlier and popped the cap off of the syringe before inserting it into the tube and injecting the epinephrine. She pulled the syringe away after injected all of its contents. She tossed it into a red biohazard nearby.

Jackson attached the defibrillator pads onto Lexa’s chest. He turned the machine on and set the charge to 300. He waited for the beeps indicating that the machine was ready.

“Charge ready.”

“Clear!”

Jackson pressed the paddles against the pads on Lexa’s skin. Lexa’s body rose and fell. The monitor was still indicating that she was flat line.

“Charge to 400.” As soon as Lexa’s body fell onto the bed again, she continued her CPR procedure. She couldn’t believe they missed something as simple as an infection and now look where they’ve gotten.

Jackson amped up the defibrillator and indicated when it was ready. 

“Clear!”

Everybody stood clear and Jackson pressed the paddles against Lexa once again. Her heart monitor still showed no signs of activity.

“Damn it! Charge to 500!”

“Abby … that’s too much are you sure her body can handle—”

“Charge to 500!”

Jackson charged the defibrillator up to 500.

“Charge ready.”

“Clear!”

Jackson pressed the paddles against Lexa’s chest. Once again her limp body rose and fell. This time however, her monitor went from a solid beep to a weak but alive two tone. The three stood around Lexa’s body, staring at the monitor and watching all of the peaks and valleys. The monitor occasionally beeping, maintaining a consistent beep as it read Lexa’s heart activity.

Abby collapsed on the floor and leaned against the wall near Lexa’s bed. Her arms were sore and her two assistants were probably even more exhausted than she was. 

“Nobody says a word to Clarke. Understood?”

Jackson and Raven both joined Abby and took a seat on the floor, which was surprisingly comfortable. They nodded in unison, neither daring to even mention how Lexa nearly died on their watch. Clarke was protective, even more so for Lexa. If she ever finds out how close to the brink of death she was, she’d have all of their heads decapitated.

“She’s my friend and everything, but mama kinda wants to live for a pretty long time, even if I’m stuck being Robo Cop. She adjusted her brace when Abby and Jackson both offered her an apologetic smile. She brushed it off and took comfort in the constant beeps of Lexa’s heart monitor.

“How did you guys miss the infection?”

“I don’t know.” Jackson answered truthfully, “Her white blood count was normal, but maybe grounder blood works differently. I guess we have to study up, don’t we Abby?” He looked over to where his mentor was seated.

Abby was asleep. Raven turned her head to check the time. 

“It’s 5:30. I already checked.”

Raven groaned. “Too early to be dying, Lexa. Next time, die in the afternoon.”

Against Jackson’s better judgment, he laughed at Raven’s depressing attempt at a joke. She was right though, it was too early for anything.

The two sat on the floor for what seemed like an hour, when in reality it was only ten minutes. It was Jackson who broke the silence, suggesting that they should carry Abby and lay her on one of the empty hospital beds. Raven agreed and Jackson helped her stand up. Thank God for Abby being a heavy sleeper, plus with the sheer exhaustion added on, Abby didn’t wake up when Jackson and Raven nearly dropped her three times. Once they finally managed to get her on a bed, Raven hugged Jackson and thanked him for everything he’s done.

“No need to thank me, but please get some rest. Abby and I are going to need you expertise in here after you kicked ass today.”

Raven tried to brush off the compliment, but failed. She proudly grinned before shrugging her shoulders indicating that it was no big deal.

“No need to get cocky now.”

Raven stuck her tongue out and accepted Jackson’s offer in assisting her lay back down on her own bed. He changed her and Lexa’s IVs, adding another dose of antibiotics into her line before heading to bed himself.

Raven stared at the wall clock. She focused on the ticks it made. After a while, her eyelids grew heavy and she fell into a deep slumber. This time however, it wasn’t because she accidentally fell unconscious, which she was thankful for. She didn’t want to be both the cripple and the unconscious.

Jackson tried his hardest to stay up but his body’s exhaustion caught the best of him. The last thing he saw through barely opened eyes were clear green eyes blinking just as slowly as he was.

“Lexa?” He called out. He didn’t hear a reply from Lexa and before he knew it, he was already sound asleep.

* * *

Lexa was weak. She has never experienced this amount of pain and agony before, not even when Anya would whip her all over her body to toughen her skin. Even when Costia died and her heart was numb and her head was clouded, her body was never under this amount of sheer and indescribable pain. Her body felt like a thousand solid bricks were crushing her beneath them. Recollections of when the reaper attacked her flooded into her mind the way that the river next to Ton DC would flood after a heavy rainfall. She closed her eyes, tears threatening to fall but she refused to let them show just how afraid and uncomfortable she was. No matter how horrible of a damage she takes, she’s still The Commander and as Commander she has obligations, none of which mention crying whenever there’s pain. She was a lot stronger than that but she just had to constantly reassure herself that it was okay, that she would be okay, that everything would be okay.

She rolled onto her right side, struggling greatly but refusing to give up. There was a sharp pain that sent shocks throughout her entire body, but she kept pushing on. Finally, she was on her side and she looked around the infirmary, hoping that someone would be awake to assist her even if she knew that showed weakness. It took her eyes a minute before they fully adjusted to the intensity of the lights, but once they did, they located a sleeping Raven, her legs askew on top of a pile of blankets and pillows.

“Raven.” Lexa called out, and to her surprise Raven moved around.

“Raven.” She called again, this time Raven rubbed the sleep away from her eyes and waited for the person to say her name again.

“Raven.” Lexa called out one last time. Raven turned around and her eyes widened at the sight of an awoken Commander.

“Lexa?” She asked even though she knew she wasn’t dreaming nor was she being delusional.

Lexa offered Raven a weak smile and Raven secretly thanked whatever high being there was left in the world for that glimpse allowing her to safely assume that Lexa would be alright.

Raven swung her right leg across the bed so that it was hovering over the floor. She guided her left with her hands, her brace not yet capable of a surplus amount of movements. Once both of her feet were planted on the ground, she crept along towards Lexa, making sure that she remained quiet enough so that Abby and Jackson wouldn’t wake up. Although it would be in Lexa’s best interest for Raven to wake Abby and Jackson up, Raven knew that Lexa wouldn’t want anybody knowing she was awake just yet. However, if Abby and Jackson were to ever find out that Raven kept Lexa’s consciousness away from them, she would never hear the end of it.

“Please don’t crash again, because I’ll probably just end up fainting and then Abby and Jackson would have to hull ass to save you again.”

Lexa adjusted her body on the bed so that it was pressed up along one of the safety bars that kept her from falling off. She allocated a small amount of space beside her legs for Raven to sit on. She patted the empty space and Raven took note, trying her best to jump onto the bed without making too much noise. Jackson was right beside them, his body awkwardly stretching out across a small armchair.

“How are you feeling?” Raven asked as she pressed the back of her hand against Lexa’s forehead. She was slightly warmer than an average person ought to be but Raven denoted that as a symptom of her infection.

“I’ve felt better.” Lexa answered truthfully. If there’s anybody Lexa can trust aside from Clarke, it’s Raven. “Do you think there’s anything you can give me?”

Raven looked around their vicinity. She noticed a few vials of what she assumed were medicine perched up against a pile of medical textbooks. Raven hopped off of Lexa’s bed and walked over to analyze the labels on them. Half of them had words that Raven didn’t even know existed, but there was one vial in particular that had a distinct look that Raven recognized almost immediately. She looked around for a brand new syringe.

Lexa tried her best to keep up with Raven but she had a limited perspective as she lay in bed. “Did you find anything?” She whispered, paying close attention to Jackson who seemed like he was waking up. “Raven, hurry." 

Those two words brought Raven to a halt. She remembered how frantic Lexa had been earlier as she screamed those two words. The engineer tried to snap out of it to focus on the task at hand. She opened the syringe packaging and uncapped the top. She turned the vial upside down and stabbed the syringe through the parafilm that prevented the medicine from leaking out. Raven measured out ten cc of morphine and walked over to Lexa as soon as she set the vial down. 

Lexa greeted her with wide eyes; afraid of whatever Raven was holding in her hand.

“What is that?” She questioned, afraid of the answer Raven was about to give her. 

“Chill, it’s medicine.”

“Are you sure it’s the right one?”

“Calm down, I know what I’m doing. This one is the one they give me whenever my leg starts to hurt.”

“Okay.” Lexa was reluctant but she trusted her friend to give her the proper medication. She just hoped that whatever Raven was about to give her would help the horrendous pain she felt all over her body.

Raven walked over to Lexa’s IV pole and located the red indicator spot. She allowed some of the medicine to squirt out so that she wouldn’t introduce any air bubbles into Lexa’s system, which she learned from Abby, could be fatal.

Lexa closed her eyes, and before she knew it, Raven was seated back beside her legs.

“See, that wasn’t so bad. Might take a while for it to kick in though.”

Lexa was unaware of what just happened because she didn’t feel anything go inside her.

“It goes in the tube that’s connected to your inner elbow.” Raven pointed out to the obviously confused Commander.

Lexa lifted her right arm and noticed that there was something attached to her.

“Don’t pull it out, it’s giving you the medicine and nutrients your body needs.”

The Commander nodded, not understanding why anybody would pull out a sharp and relatively long needle out of his or her arm without permission or assistance. It must be a Sky People thing, she thought to herself. Whenever something didn’t make sense, she just assumed it was a Sky People thing – it put her mind at ease and she didn’t bother thinking about the other possibilities or explanations. 

Just like Raven had said, it took a couple minutes for the medicine to actually kick into Lexa’s system but once it did, it almost knocked Lexa out like a light. She felt a million times better and she made a mental note to thank Raven for whatever magic juice she added into the magic tube that went inside her arm. She had so many things to learn about medicine and healthcare and she knew that although Abby would be the safe bet, she wanted to learn from Clarke. Lexa also hadn’t forgotten the main purpose of her and Raven’s excursion that was so that Lexa had the materials to learn how to paint just like Clarke and also provide her with an abundance of gifts. She wondered if the others received the blankets and clothing that her and Raven brought back. There were so many things she still needed to ask her friend, but her eyes grew heavy and she knew that what she really needed now more than ever was to rest. And so she allowed her body to relax and her mind to drift off into a deep sleep.

* * *

As soon as Lexa fell asleep, Raven hopped off of her bed and returned to her own. It had gotten a bit colder inside the infirmary and she sighed when she noticed that Lexa wasn’t covered up. Once again she hopped off of her bed and made her way over to Lexa. She grabbed the blanket that was thrown across the edge of Lexa’s bed and used it to cover her friend, tucking her in ever so slightly, making sure she was gentle enough so that she wouldn’t induce further pain. The minute that was settled, Raven returned to her bed once more, covered herself in her own blanket, and blacked out. She was so tired that she doesn’t even remember the minute she fell asleep.

* * *

It was morning now and if the birds chirping weren’t enough to wake Clarke up, the bright sunlight emerging through her window did the job. She groaned and rubbed her eyes, she wanted nothing more than to sleep in for a few more minutes but she knew she was needed somewhere around camp. She grabbed her blanket and threw it off of her in one swift motion, the cold breeze instantly waking her up.

“Fuck.” She scowled, not in the mood for the imminent cold that was rapidly approaching their camp.

Her mind immediately thought back to Lexa. She got up and dressed as quickly as she could possible manage before running out the door, not even bothering with her hair. A few guards stopped her, warning her that there was no running inside Alpha Station. Of course she ignored them and continued racing towards the infirmary.

* * *

Inside the infirmary, Abby, Jackson, Raven, and Lexa were discussing plans about expanding Camp Jaha and merging it with Ton DC and a few nearby villages. Lexa was still fairly weak to the others huddled around her to listen to what she had in mind.

The giant doors leading into the infirmary slammed open with an out of breath Clarke emerging from the entranceway.

“How. Is. She?” She managed to ask in between her struggles for air.

Raven and Abby moved to the side, revealing a feeble but very much alive Commander.

Clarke ran up to the leader and enveloped her in a giant hug.

The pain all over Lexa’s body tripled within a few seconds but she didn’t care. Clarke was hugging her and she felt safe and warm for once.

The hug lasted for quite some time that Raven had to awkwardly clear her throat to remind the two that the rest of them were still present. Clarke briefly apologized before giving Lexa another tight squeeze and pulling away.

Abby looked at her daughter with a mischievous look taking over her usually stoic or angry facial features. Jackson caught on and immediately excused himself. Raven however, did not. Jackson returned, grabbed Raven by her arm, and started dragging her outside the infirmary.

“Not cool!” Raven complained as soon as Jackson let go of her. Abby smirked and Raven finally caught on. “The love birds need alone time, got it. Welp, I’m just gonna …” She looked around and pointed behind her, “I’m just gonna ya know, go grab something to eat.”

The two elders simply nodded and laughed at how awkward Raven was being, but Raven was a teenager after all so it was to be expected. They soon followed Raven to the food storage where two grounders were handing out meal rations.

* * *

Clarke stood in front of Lexa’s bed self-consciously. Had she known Lexa was awake, she would have showered, or at least combed her hair. It probably looked like a bird’s nest with the damage it took while she ran. If she didn’t know better, she would have believed that Lexa was reading her mind because as soon as the thought of her not being adequate enough for the Commander, Lexa raised her left hand slowly and patted down a bit of Clarke’s hair that was sticking out profoundly.

Clarke laughed awkwardly as she pat down the same spot that Lexa had just taken care of. “Uhm, thank you. Sorry I look like a complete mess, I just … I didn’t have time to properly get ready because I ran over here and I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“You do not have to apologize to me, Clarke. Even with your hair like this, I still think you’re very lovely.”

A blush slowly crept along the back of Clarke’s neck and her cheeks. Was Lexa really complementing her right now? Was The Commander really this ill?

“Clarke?” Lexa snapped her out of her thoughts and she hummed in acknowledgement, encouraging her to go on with what she had to say.

“I know I said that I would never apologize to you, but, this whole accident was my fault. Please do not blame anybody else but me.” 

The older girl shook her head and fumbled around with Lexa’s blanket, trying to locate the younger girl’s hands. It didn’t take long for her to find one, and when she did, she held onto it with both her hands. She gave Lexa’s hand a firm squeeze before continuing their conversation.

“Don’t apologize, Lexa. Like you said, this was just an accident. I’m just glad you’re okay because I … because we need you here.”

Clarke helped Lexa lay back down upon Lexa’s request. She grabbed an extra blanket and tucked Lexa in. She offered the younger girl water and food but she refused, insisting she wasn’t hungry. Clarke would have objected, but she saw that Lexa was attached to an IV and although it’s not exactly the best way to receive vital nutrients, it’s still something. Clarke pressed the back of her palm against Lexa’s forehead. She was burning up.

“Lexa are all of these blankets too much?”

Lexa’s shook her head.

“Are you too hot?”

She shook her head again. She was freezing and the extra blanket felt nice and cozy. She took a mental note to ask Abby if she could keep the blankets and bring them to her hut. They were now her new favorite and she didn’t want to leave without them. She would just replace them with some of the blankets her and Raven managed to salvage. 

“Do you want me to stay?”

Lexa nodded. Of course she wanted Clarke to stay, what kind of question was that? She wanted to talk to Clarke, to tell her about her and Raven’s adventure even though she knew that Clarke would get angry with them for being so reckless. She wanted to share with Clarke the true reason as to why they went out on that excursion in the first place. She wanted Clarke to know that she was trying to impress her, albeit a fairly horrible attempt, but an attempt nonetheless. Instead of doing all the things she would have wanted to, she kept her eyes and her mouth shut and listened to the sound of the machines humming away. She was on the brink of sleep when she heard Clarke mumble something from under her breath. Lexa wasn’t sure if she heard it properly, but from what she did hear, it sounded like Clarke said that she was glad she wasn’t dead and that she had scared Clarke completely. She wanted to apologize but her body refused to cooperate with her mind and not soon after she fell into a blissful sleep, thanks to all of the medication Abby and Jackson administered.

* * *

News spread quickly through both Camp Jaha and Ton DC about the health status of The Commander. Everybody screamed and rejoiced that their Heda was still alive. Octavia was on patrol when news broke, but Lincoln was sure to fill both her and Indra in as soon as she heard. Octavia excused herself from her post with Indra’s permission. She made her way back to Alpha Station, unable to control the giant smile that was forming on her face. Her Heda was alive and well.

* * *

The doors to the infirmary swung open and Clarke turned around. She made eye contact with Octavia and instantly the smile on Octavia’s face disappeared and turned into a scowl.

Clarke stood up from the chair that she had placed directly next to Lexa’s bed. She offered for Octavia to take a seat but the younger girl refused.

“Octavia I’m really sorry for how I acted.”

Octavia was taken aback by this but she knew the right thing to do was forgive her friend. After all, Clarke had the biggest reason to go ballistic when Lexa was injured and that’s because even if Clarke doesn’t know yet, Octavia knew how head over heels she is for The Commander. 

Octavia didn’t say anything - instead she walked over and enveloped Clarke into a tight hug. Clarke was surprised at how strong Octavia has gotten ever since she joined the grounders. She knew that Octavia was an amazing warrior now, but she can’t help but remember how naïve and childlike Octavia had been when they first landed on Earth. She was just glad that her friend had finally found where she truly belonged.

“I’m sorry I accused you of being pretentious just because you joined the grounders. I’m really sorry for everything I said in vain, and I hope you know that I didn’t mean any of those things no matter how upset I was. You’re an amazing woman, O, not to mention one of the best warriors I’ve ever seen.”

“I’m sorry for lashing out on you, Clarke. I was just really worried for Lexa and I wouldn’t have known what to do had I lost her. I should have realized sooner how important she was to you and how both of us wouldn’t be where we are today without her. I’m sorry for everything as well. I hope that this doesn’t change anything between us because just between you and me, you’re kind of a better older sibling than Bellamy. I can’t exactly talk about boys with him, you know?”

Lexa was eavesdropping on their entire conversation, and the two only took notice when she accidentally let out a laugh at Octavia’s last comment.

The two turned towards Lexa.

“Lexa are you awake?”

Lexa opened her eyes and scrunched her nose. She looked up at Clarke and Octavia before giving them her biggest grin.

“It is true, I do not foresee Bellamy enjoying a conversation about Lincoln.”

Clarke and Octavia couldn’t believe their Commander – such a sneaky one that girl.

“How long have you been listening?”

“I don’t know.”

“Lexa answer me or else I’ll tickle you.”

“You would not dare to harm and injured person.”

Clarke raised her eyebrow in a challenging matter.

Lexa gulped and caved in, “Alright. I had been listening ever since Octavia entered. The sound of the doors opening had woken me.”

“I’m sorry Heda.” Octavia apologized but Lexa placed her hand in the air signaling that everything was okay. It was okay, because now she knows that Clarke really does care about her. She’s always known, but to actually receive a confirmation made Lexa feel light despite her body’s obvious heaviness because of the running fevers and infection.

The three talked for a while until Octavia had to leave to join Indra and Lincoln for another half an hour of watch. They decided to give some of the guards a break and stand watch for a while. It usually wasn’t their job to stand watch, but with Lexa being sick, the trio needed something else to distract them.

* * *

Clarke and Lexa were alone once again. It took a while for Clarke to realize that she was holding Lexa’s hand and subconsciously playing with it. Lexa didn’t mind though, she took comfort in the small circles that Clarke rubbed with her thumb. Whatever was between the two felt nice, and although it reminded her much of Costia, she knew that Costia was never coming back and she shouldn’t ruin the possibility of her and Clarke because of it. She sighed a heavy sigh before speaking up.

“Clarke?”

Clarke looked up from her mindless circles across Lexa’s hand. Something about Lexa’s voice was softer than usual and she couldn’t help but feel so many emotions all at once with the way Lexa was looking at her. Lexa’s green eyes were much calmer than usual, although they were still bright and clear, they had some sort of warmth to them – compassion even, that Clarke has rarely seen with The Commander. 

“Thank you.” Two words was all Lexa said but Clarke knew that if she were more of a talker, she would have said more instead of being so concise with everything.

“There’s no need to thank me.”

“But you’ve stayed with me all day today and I know you must have other matters to attend to.”

Clarke simply shook her head. She wanted to be there and she knew that unless she explained to Lexa just that, The Commander would feel guilty for keeping her away from her duties. 

“Lexa, I want to be here with you. Don’t worry I have everything covered. Just relax and try your best to rest up. The sooner you feel better, the sooner we’ll start combining both our villages.” 

Lexa nodded and closed her eyes. Clarke stayed by her side the entire time, only ever leaving when she needed something to drink. Her stomach grumbled and she hadn’t noticed that she hadn’t eaten all day. Thankfully Raven returned and Clarke ordered her to watch over Lexa while she grabbed some food. She hated leaving The Commander, but she was hungry and she knew that if she didn’t eat anything soon, she’ll just end up pissed and annoyed at everybody who crossed her path – she didn’t want that happening after the whole Octavia incident. 

She returned with three bowl of porridge, not sure if Raven had eaten yet but opted to bring her some just in case. She slipped through the doors to the infirmary and was pleasantly surprised by Jasper, Maya, Monty, and Bellamy all huddled around Lexa. They were asking her and Raven questions about what happened, and Clarke carefully set the tray down on one of the vacant beds surrounding Lexa’s.

The group noticed Clarke and waved for her to join them. Lexa was sat up and she motioned for Clarke to sit on her bed with her. Raven and Lexa both recollected the memories of the events that happened and tried to explain to the others how incredibly terrifying it was to be trapped under a reaper and a shelving unit as well as being locked into a dark store. 

“Commander? I noticed that you brought back new clothes and blankets, where did you get them?”

Lexa shrugged, not really sure how to answer Monty. 

“I don’t really know. All I know is that it was a store and it had a sign with G, E, and T on it. I think it was red with a bullseye. I did what the sign told me to and I _got_ the blankets and clothes.”

Monty repeated what Lexa had said under his breath, trying to think about which store they could have possibly raided. 

“Wait a minute, what if it was a Target?” 

“A Target? Was I meant to destroy it?” 

The entire group busted out into laughter except for Lexa who remained utterly confused. Little did she know, a hundred years ago there used to be a multitude of Target stores all across America. They thought it was hilarious that Lexa managed to actually find one, thinking all of them had gone extinct way before the nuclear bombs. 

Clarke dismissed herself from the group and went to gather the food she brought back for her, Raven, and Lexa. She handed Raven a bowl and in return Raven thanked her because she hadn’t had the opportunity to eat all day. The rest of the group dispersed but before they left, each took the time to wish their Commander a speedy recovery. They all mentioned that if she need anything, they were at her service. 

Lexa couldn’t help but feel an amount of gratitude and appreciation for her fellow friends. She finally felt like she belonged with Clarke and her Sky People group. All the grounders were either older or younger than her leaving Lexa to feel like she has never truly fit – like she never had the opportunity to have friends, especially with her Commander duties. Costia was the only one that came close in age and even then she was one of the few that Lexa was allowed to interact with. In actuality, sometimes all of this Commander business gets annoying but Lexa knows that her spirit chose her and so she must fulfill her destiny. 

Once again, Raven, Clarke, and Lexa were left to her own demise. Occasionally Abby and Jackson would check in on Raven and Lexa, but would immediately leave with the excuse of having other matters that needed their imminent attention. 

Raven noticed that Lexa was unable to properly feed herself, her body still sore from all of the impact that it took. She set her own bowl aside and reached for Lexa’s. Clarke had noticed as well and had done the same, their hands touching each other’s on top of Lexa’s bowl. 

“I got it Clarke, I was there during the accident so I should be here during the recovery.” Raven smiled at the blonde and began spooning some porridge into Lexa’s mouth. 

The porridge tasted heavenly and Lexa knew exactly which of her kind made it. Mags was an elderly grounder who made the best soups and porridges known to mankind. Although she was mostly quiet, Lexa has had the opportunity to learn some of her recipes throughout her Commander training. 

Clarke stared at the two and grew envious. What if something happened between them during their excursion that Clarke doesn’t know about? She watched as Raven fed the girl she was into and she thought at how unfair the world was being to her right at this very moment. Instead of standing there like a dumbass, Clarke excused herself, informing the two that she would return tomorrow morning. 

Lexa objected and demanded Clarke stay the night but to no avail, Clarke was already halfway out the door. 

“What was that about?” Raven asked, not sure why Clarke basically stormed off.

Lexa continued staring at the door. 

“Why did she have to leave?” 

Raven set the bowl and the spoon down and sunk into the back of the armchair. She had a smug look on her face that reminded Lexa of their conversation during their walk. 

“You’re sad because she’s not here. I get it, I’m not as hot as Clarke.” 

Lexa blushed profusely, “No Raven, I –” 

“I’m kidding, Commando. Chill. I know you dig her and it’s pretty clear she digs you too I mean did you see the way she hugged you earlier today? Totally lesbigay for you.” 

Lexa cocked her head to the side, unsure of another terminology that the engineer seemed to have procured out of thin air. 

“I don’t know her sexuality so I just used lesbigay because it covers the three sexualities that I know about. I mean, there’s asexual and pansexual and demisexual, honestly the list goes on. However, Clarke has dated boys therefore she’s more than likely bisexual if she’s into you too.” 

Raven reached for her bowl of porridge and spooned some in her mouth, the taste was orgasmic and she even let out a little moan. 

Lexa chuckled at how disgusting Raven was being so she decided it would be best to throw a pillow at her head. 

“Hey! Watch it dude, you’re the one who is more crippled than I am right now! I can totally take you!” She stuck her tongue out. Her feet were perched up on Lexa’s bed and she gasped when Lexa swatted them away. 

“Hey no fair, you have the upper advantage! Literally. Girl can’t see anything from down here.” Raven sighed, “No, but seriously, if you like her, I suggest you make a move and I mean pronto. She’s not going to be waiting for you forever, you know that right?” 

Lexa knew that Raven was right, but she didn’t know how to win Clarke over. That’s when Raven reached for her bag and grabbed a blank canvas and paint. 

“Art 101 is now in session, children. Today we will be learning about blending colors on a canvas.” 

Lexa furrowed her brows, “But isn’t that a waste of a canvas?” 

“Nah, you need to get used to painting on canvases, besides we can just paint over. It’ll suck and make it bumpy, but this is just for practice. So what do you want to draw?” 

“I guess nature, Clarke really likes nature and that’ll impress her right?” 

“Totally! Alright, lets start with trees. You do remember what they look like, right?” 

Lexa threw one of the paintbrushes at Raven’s head, “I’m sick, I wasn’t in a coma.” 

“Well, you were technically dead, but we don’t care about technicalities when it comes to art!” 

“Is art supposed to be this dramatic?” Lexa copied Raven and raised her own paintbrush in the air. It was Raven’s turn to throw a paintbrush at Lexa. 

“Hush child, you are the student and I am the teacher. Now, let us begin!” 

It took Lexa exactly two hours and eighteen minutes to grow so frustrated that she hurled the canvas across the room. Why was art so difficult and why was Clarke blessed with the gift of producing beautiful art with pure ease. She wanted to be able to do that because she wanted to paint her the most wonderful landscape because Clarke deserves no less than the best of the best.

* * *

Alpha Station was packed more than usual. For the most part, people were always outside working on something unless they were absolutely needed in the station. Recently, because of the cold weather, everybody has started taking shelter inside the station where it was significantly warmer than outdoors. Clarke knew that they needed to start hauling ass to prepare for winter. They didn’t have much time left and with Lexa out of commission, Clarke had to work twice as hard to get everything settled this week. 

So far they’ve gathered enough food that’ll last all of their people sufficiently for the next three months, but as Lexa has mentioned before, the weather was never definitive, so the seasons’ lengths are never truly predictable. That was the dilemma Clarke faced. She stepped outside of the station and looked around. Grounders and Sky People alike were skinning animals for their fur and sending the meat to the cooks who are cooking and drying them.

Octavia and Lincoln were quickly approaching, followed by Indra who stepped aside to have a word with Nyko.

“Hey Clarke, what do you need us to do?” 

Clarke looked around at her people. She wondered how Lexa handled all of this, she not even their Commander but she’s still feeling the stress of ensuring that everything is ready for their smooth transition. 

“Honestly Octavia I was wondering if you had a job for me. I don’t want to be a leader today, I just want to get my hands dirty and focus on something other than Lexa.” 

“Whoa there, what happened?” 

Lincoln took Octavia’s question as cue for him to leave. He returned to Indra and the two of them walked over to where some Sky People were cutting up logs of wood to reinforce some of their huts. 

Octavia and Clarke began walking towards the edge of camp. The two guards that stood post gave them permission to cross over and walk around the woods for a while, but Octavia knew that she would have to return Clarke back to camp before nightfall or else she would have to face Lexa for potentially risking Clarke’s safety even if nothing happens. 

“I think something happened between Raven and Lexa. I brought them food and Raven was feeding Lexa and Lexa was enjoying it! The nerve of that girl!” 

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, calm down. Lexa isn’t yours for you to get this jealous over, and Raven doesn’t have the nerve to do anything because she’s not doing anything. I mean, have you asked them?” 

Clarke nearly lost her head at what Octavia just suggested.

“Are you crazy?! Of course I didn’t ask them! That’s really weird and awkward, not to mention super forward and I’ll look like a damn fool if nothing’s going on between them.” 

“Clarke, are you hearing yourself? You’re already acting crazy by jumping the gun. Lexa is so into you that Raven would never pose a threat. You just have to talk to Lexa about how you feel because if she does have feelings for Raven, she’ll probably go for it. Nobody likes to wait around for someone, you know? Even if they say they don’t mind, you know damn well that waiting is a pain in the ass. It causes too much avoidable pain that it’s not worth it.” 

“Okay, let’s just say there’s nothing going on between them. So why is Raven feeding Lexa?” 

“Doesn’t Lexa have a broken shoulder?” 

“Well, yeah, I mean … but that doesn’t have anything to do with anything, O!” 

“It kind of does, I mean, if you had a broken shoulder, I’d feed you and clearly there’s nothing going on with us.” 

“I guess you’re right, it just blows because I wanted to be the one to take care of Lexa. I know the circumstances aren’t ideal, but I thought that this could finally be the time Lexa and I needed to really get to know each other, not just on a platonic level.” 

“Clarke, you two passed platonic a long time ago. Don’t worry about Raven making the moves on your girl, I promise you that there’s nothing going on between them.” 

“How can you promise that?” 

“Well, because I just know them. Like I said, Lexa’s kind of head over heels for you.” 

Clarke stopped walking to sit down on the floor next to a tree. She scooted back so that she was able to lean against the tree. Octavia did the same and sat beside Clarke. She didn’t know what to say to make Clarke believe that Raven and Lexa are just friends and nothing more. She didn’t want to give up the secret that Lexa was trying to learn how to paint for Clarke, so she was working with limited options at this point. 

“You’d tell me if something was up though, right? I mean, I can trust you, right?” 

Octavia was offended that Clarke would even have to ask such questions, “Of course I’d tell you and of course you can trust me! If you didn’t would you confide in me? Don’t answer that because I already know that it’s a no.” 

Clarke let out a sigh - she hated feeling this vulnerable. It’s one thing to feel physically vulnerable and another to feel like you’re wearing your heart on a sleeve and it can get stolen from you at any given moment. After Finn, Clarke wasn’t sure about falling for someone new. But the more she thought about Lexa, the more she realized that after all of this time, she’s had some sort of underlying feelings for The Commander. Granted she wasn’t even aware of her own sexuality, but she knew there had to be a reason for her to feel the way she does around Lexa. She didn’t feel it with Octavia or Raven, even Maya. She wanted to talk to Lexa but she wanted to be sure about her feelings before bringing anything up that could potentially ruin their friendship and their people’s alliance. 

Octavia looked up at the sky. The sun was setting and they had strayed quite far from camp. She suggested that they begin heading home, and Clarke agreed even though she would have preferred to spend more time with her friend and ask her about love. Even if Octavia was relatively younger, her and Lincoln seemed to be doing well for their age. She wanted to know their secret even if she wholeheartedly believed they didn’t have any – they were just one of the lucky few that automatically clicked.

* * *

Back at Alpha Station, Raven had convinced Lexa to keep practicing even though she was frustrated. She explained that it was to be expected whenever one learned a new skill. Besides, Lexa looked adorable when she scrunched her nose in concentration. The door swung open and Lexa jumped up. Raven quickly stood up and gathered all of the materials and placed them in her bag. Clarke pulled the curtains back, revealing the two completely out of breath. 

“You startled us.” Lexa explained. She noticed that there was still an extra paintbrush on her bed. She looked up at Raven who had also caught her mistake. 

Clarke squinted her eyes, trying to determine exactly what was going on. 

“Raven?” 

“Sorry Clarke, I just thought you wouldn’t be back until tomorrow.” 

“Why are you apologizing?” 

“Oh uhm, nothing. I guess I’m just super shaken up because you know, you kind of just barged in.” 

“Was I interrupting something?” 

Raven shook her head frantically, “Nope. Not at all. Actually, I have to go and check with Sinclair about my upcoming schedule, so uhm, I’ll leave you two alone.” She walked over to Lexa’s bed and grabbed the paintbrush that Lexa pushed into her hand. 

Clarke was suspicious and Lexa knew it. Her heart was pounding. It wouldn’t be a surprise if Clarke knew and so she had to distract the older girl one way or another. 

“Alright, tell me what was going on.” 

“Nothing!” Lexa answered that question way too quickly and it was drawing more suspicion from Clarke. 

“Look if there’s something going on with you and Raven, you can tell me, you know that right?” 

“There is nothing, Clarke. Why-Why would you think that something was going on? Has anybody spoken to you?” 

“No … but you’re acting really weird and as much as I’d like to believe that there’s nothing going on, something doesn’t seem right.”

Clarke made her way closer to Lexa’s bed. Lexa adjusted herself so that she was more comfortable sitting upright. She motioned for Clarke to sit on the bed with her but Clarke refused. She was in deep and she didn’t even know what she was in. She can feel Clarke’s intense gaze burning a hole on the side of her head. Lexa took in a few deep breaths, allowing her body to calm down under all of the sudden stress. She looked up at the ceiling, her hands, some of the machines, anything really just to avoid looking at Clarke. She gulped and let out a long shaky breath. She had never experience this emotion before, not even with Costia and she felt a lot with her first love. 

Clarke cleared her throat and Lexa automatically glanced over. What she was afraid of happened, and suddenly bright blue eyes were challenging clear green ones. Lexa tried to look away but she was captivated – completely enthralled with the possibility of Clarke’s eyes being brighter than the brightest blue sky on a summer’s day. Her eyes were flickering over Clarke’s lips. She licked her own before clearing her throat, not sure of what to say to Clarke, especially when Clarke was in this state. She wasn’t saying much and Lexa was left to guess whatever was floating through her friend’s head – which could be anything.

“Oh fuck it.” 

Clarke got up from the armchair and cupped the side of Lexa’s face with her right hand. She used her left to grab the back of Lexa’s neck to bring her closer. She wet her lips and slowly inched closer to Lexa, their lips were centimeters away. Lexa can feel Clarke’s hot breath against her own and she desperately wanted the older girl to be the bolder one and make a move, the anticipation was slowly killing her. Clarke shut her eyes and closed the gap between their lips. It was no surprise that Lexa’s lips were unbelievably soft. Their pace was slow and steady, both aching for more but understanding that this wasn’t one of those kisses. No, this was desperate and unplanned. This was everything they both wanted but never had the courage to accomplish. They had the right to take this slow because Lexa was in pain and Clarke didn’t know if she would be able to control herself if things progressed. 

Lexa alternated between kissing Clarke’s top lip and sucking on her bottom. She traced her tongue on Clarke’s bottom, begging for the entrance that Clarke granted when she parted her lips. Lexa slipped her tongue inside, eliciting a moan from Clarke that was caught in Lexa’s mouth. Clarke brushed her thumb against Lexa’s check as she deepened their kiss. She wanted more. She was desperate for more but this wasn’t the right place nor the right time so she pulled away. Lexa hesitated and got the last kiss before they were separated again. 

It took a while before Lexa opened her eyes, not wanting to lose the feeling of Clarke’s lips gently dancing with her own. She thought about how perfectly in sync they were during their kiss and how Clarke tasted like strawberries and mint. As soon as she opened her eyes, a smiling Clarke greeted her. She reciprocated the smile and both girls turned a bright red. 

“Care to explain?” Lexa questioned with a soft chuckle. 

Clarke bit her bottom lip and hid her face in the sleeves of her jacket.

“I’m sorry, I just … I want you and I want you to want me too, I don’t want you to fall for Raven.” 

Lexa didn’t know how to respond because her and Raven were only friends. Well, Raven was her teacher but if she gave that answer, Clarke would ask questions that Lexa wasn’t ready to answer just yet. 

The Commander motioned for Clarke to lie down beside her on the bed. It took them a few seconds before they finally settled next to each other. Lexa couldn’t focus on the right words to say with Clarke’s bright blue eyes looking back at her with curiosity. She wanted to kiss her, she wanted to taste her, and she wanted to have her. 

“There is nothing between Raven and I, I can promise you that.” 

Clarke sighed, relieved upon hearing the good news. 

“She is just a friend and she has helped me a lot. If it were not for her, I truly believe I would not be here at this very moment, looking at the most beautiful girl I have ever seen in my entire life.” 

“Even more beautiful than Costia?” 

The mood in the air quickly depleted and Clarke knew that she should have never brought up Costia. 

“Lexa, I’m so sorry.” 

“It’s okay. Costia will forever be my first love that is not something I can change. However, now that I have met you, I can guarantee that you will always be my first priority. Clarke, I watched you love Finn and it broke me. There was something about you the first time that I saw you that made me crave you more than I have ever craved anything in my life. But understand that love is weakness and I would not be able to live with myself if you suffer the same fate as my Costia did.” 

“You know that nothing will happen to me right? My mother would never let anything happen to me and neither would you nor Octavia. I think even Indra has grown fond of me. I have protection and I can fight, you’ve said so yourself. Please don’t hesitate out of fear because I didn’t. I leaped over a metaphorical valley and kissed you. It was terrifying to say the least because I didn’t know if you felt the same way for me, for all I knew, I would have kissed someone who was in love with someone else.” 

“I know you mean well, Clarke. I just … I refuse to hurt you the way I hurt Costia.” Lexa looked down, her eyes were glossed over with tears just thinking about Clarke being in any sort of danger that she would not be able to rescue her from. 

“Hey, look at me.” Clarke gently tilted Lexa’s chin up so that she was wipe away her tears. She has never seen Lexa so vulnerable and small in all of the days she’s known her. She never thought she would ever see such a sight, but she couldn’t help but feel bad for the fear that she knew she could never dissipate from Lexa’s mind. 

“You’re okay, I promise.” She leaned in and kissed Lexa once more, the salty taste of her tears dominating over Lexa’s naturally sweet taste. She tangled her hand in Lexa’s hair, trying desperately to close the gap between them. Clarke had to be careful though; she didn’t want to hurt Lexa. 

“You won’t hurt me.” Lexa stated, pulling Clarke closer by her waist. The kiss deepened and their breaths grew heavy. Clarke managed to intertwine their legs together, and the added friction between them aided in the intensity of the kiss. 

Octavia and Indra opened the door.

“Hey Clarke, Indra and I were wonder—oh! Hi Lexa, er, Commander. Heda. Hello.” 

Clarke and Lexa pulled away from each other.

Indra rolled her eyes and face palmed, “Children. I am looking after children.” 

Clarke cleared her throat and adjusted her hair and jacket. Octavia pointed at the edge of her lips and Clarke gazed at her with a questioning look. She then realized what Octavia meant and she quickly wiped away all trace of lip-gloss from her face. 

“Anyway, I’ll make this quick. Indra and I were wondering if you wanted us to explore where Lexa found the blankets because we have a shortage and the elderly can definitely use more now more than ever.” 

Clarke turned to Lexa who answered Octavia’s question, “Yes, you two may gather the rest of the materials, but please take a group with you. It is dangerous and I do not wish my injuries to be inflicted on you as well.”

Indra and Octavia both nodded before heading out the door to leave the two to do whatever it was that they were doing. Indra shook in disgust at seeing her Commander so intimate but Octavia, however, gave her leaders two thumbs up. Indra grabbed Octavia by her braids and yanked her second out the door. 

“Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. I’m sorry. Indra please let go.” Was all Lexa and Clarke could hear before the door closed behind the two. 

Clarke’s shoulders fell and she allowed herself to lie back down on Lexa’s bed. 

“What is with me and getting caught during sexual acts?”

Lexa shook her head and laughed. She captured Clarke’s lips with her own, stopping every few seconds to smile and laugh at what just happened. 

“Did you see Indra yank Octavia?” Clarke asked between kisses. Lexa nodded, not wanting to separate her lips from Clarke’s even if it’s only for a moment. 

Clarke bit down on Lexa’s bottom lip, eliciting a moan from The Commander that shocked both parties. Lexa turned bright pink and Clarke smirked, biting down once more before Lexa copied. Clarke let out a low moan. It didn’t take long for her to realize that every time she moaned, Lexa grew impatient and kissed harder. She didn’t know what all of this meant, but they can figure it out some other day. For now, she was in bed, kissing quite possibly the most attractive grounder on Earth and she was more than happy with that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed!!! I swear I had a plan for all of the chapters but things happened and I'm trying to get back to those plans but I don't know if I want to change it up but yeah, thank you for reading!!!! OH AND I MIGHT POST A NEW FIC IDEA ON WEDNESDAY BUT DON'T QUOTE ME ON THAT BECAUSE IT ALL DEPENDS ON IF I FINISH ALL OF MY UNIVERSITY STUFF AND YEAH BUT IM SUPER EXCITED ABOUT IT BECAUSE IT'S A CUTE PLOT AND YEAH OKAY BYE I LOVE YOU ALL

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first The 100 fanfic so hopefully you guys enjoyed it! Hopefully I did alright. I know it's pretty short but I just wanted a quick introduction to the series. I'm not the best writer so please bare with me. Also, I'd love to hear your feedback! Anything is appreciated! Compliments and criticisms alike :) Thank you for taking the time to read!


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